"...no..." Luke 1:37

The One Where Jesus Swallows the Puzzle Piece and the Man in the Big Yellow Hat Has to Take Him to the Hospital.

I like the part where God gave everyone free will but then floods the planet because nobody done what he told them too

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Being someone who struggles with depression this is a huge encouragement. Because honestly more often than not life just -blam!-ing sucks. I never thought that I would have to deal with the girl I was in love with getting molested. And even though tough shit happens God is there and still has a plan for me. Honestly sometimes it doesn't feel like he's there. But he is. And he can help. But only if you let him.

How does this have so many upvotes?I thought #OffTopic was full of anti-theist edgelords.

"With great power, comes great responsibility"

The one from Fallout 3.

"Wake me, when you need me." - Halo 3

Deuteronomy 22:21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you. This is one of the Bible's greatest lessons. If you find out your wife isn't a virgin, you take that whore to her father's house and stone her to death. [spoiler]I'm kidding, obviously. But seriously, there are some really twisted verses in the Bible.[/spoiler]

when people think a book of fairy tales has actual influence

"Noeth, thou." [i]dankius 6:9[/i]

[i]Lenny:[i] 1.23[/i][/i] "Here comes the mothership! We're finally coming home mamme!"

Romans 8:31-39 is one of mine. 31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Revelation 21:6 I am alpha and omega the beginning and the end And I will give unto him that is a thirst of the water of the fountain of life, freely

"All the plants are good fam"

Somebody once told me That I could make some money by bullying some people online So I grew a gnome goatee and put on a stupid beanie And started making up some dank lies [Pre-Chorus: Uncle Dane] So, I'm making death threats and calling people "ni​gger" Counting that cash while my channel's growing bigger Never you mind I was already banned From my racist, homophobic, hate speech rants Found a loophole, now it's my goal To poison the online punch bowl You never know who I might dox So y'all can suck on my cocks [Chorus: Uncle Dane] Hey now, you're a Keemstar Get your hat on, MLG Hey now, you're a Keemstar Get your sociopathy And all we care about is news Personal attacks and harassment is totally news [Interlude: Keemstar] Like, I literally wanna kill this dude. It's not a threat it's a promise, I want to -blam!-ing kill this dude Oh, -blam!-in righteous -blam!-ing -blam!-, Alex, is doing this shit Hmm, can't wait to report your death, haha! Like seriously? What's wrong with you, asshole Everybody type in the chat Alex is a stupid -blam!- I only do this show for money, that's it, alright I don't do it to entertain people, that's just a -blam!-ing scam I really hope you die of cancer, I hate every single one of you -blam!- the fans [Chorus: Uncle Dane] Hey now, you're a Keemstar Do a trickshot, MLG Hey now, you're a Keemstar Eat your popcorn, goatee And all I report is the news If you'd call this news [Verse 2: Uncle Dane] Somebody once asked "Can you spare me from harassment Your content is a -blam!-ing disgrace" I said "Yep, and to save my rep I'm gonna bully you until you're dead I'll punch you harder than my girlfriend's face" [Pre-Chorus: Uncle Dane] Well, the hate keeps coming for the show I'm running Even if I get banned I'll just keep on coming Doesn't make sense to give up this shtick I make mad money from being a dick My revenue stream, it is my dream To take online gossip to the extreme I'm a sociopath don't you know I'll do anything for a little dough

I'm personally a fan of God murdering the entirety of the planet save for one family. [spoiler]Guess he's mellowed with age[/spoiler]

[b] [/b]

I like the part where it crackles while I burn it

Jeezus 4:20 Lul, gettin' crucified atm

God doesn't exist

Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends.