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작성자: Aech0s
7/24/2016 1:48:16 AM
71
The relationship contract
Relationship Contract
• Must inform the significant other how much you love them at least twice a week
• Must have stupid conversations that make absolutely no sense
• Love forever and always
/BOYFRIEND RESPONSIBILITIES/
•Allows his chest to be used as a pillow
• Must kiss on the head while whispering "I love you."
• Allow girl to play with fingers while holding hands
• Always tell girl how much she means to him
• Explain his love in (sometimes) the cheesiest of methods
•Let girl lay on top of him while he wraps his arms around her
•Keep girl warm
• Never recite his own opinion unless she asks for it
•Do things to blatantly annoy her, then coddle her and tell her how much he loves her
•Protect from abuse, both verbal and physical
• Comment how nice her boobs are
• If she is tired, your shoulder is now made of cotton, and your arms are felt.
•Never let her talk bad about herself
•KSAW
•Her word is law. (unless she can be talked out of it.)
•Must be the nicest boyfriend she has ever met.
•Brag about her
/GIRLFRIEND RESPONSIBILITIES/
•Nuzzle open skin. (Neck, arms...)
• Use boy as a footrest
• Tell the boy what he should and should not do, before doing the exact opposite herself.
•Cry in the boyfriend's arms
• Take stupid selfies that result in the boy taking stupid(er) selfies
• Problem? Call his name.
• Pull his arms over her
• Talk to him about information that is only talked about within her friend group.
• Crawl all over him
• Rant
• Reveal all emotions to him
• Brag about him
• Love unconditionally
[spoiler]If any of #offtopic has a girlfriend, [/spoiler]
[spoiler]which is already nearly impossible[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Use this list. Whenever your girl says "why are you ______" Just reply, "its in the contract." And proceed to show them this list. [/spoiler]
[spoiler]60% of the time, it works every time.[/spoiler]
English
#Offtopic
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8 답변Or this..... You pay all the bills, buy all the food, work a boring meaningless job for 5 years to cover for your wifes complete lack of responsibility with her finances becaue if you didn't you'd both be up shit creak! Then you have a baby and you not only dedicate your entire life to providing financially and emotionally to your family as a whole but also individually to your wife and child, so your wife starts working weekends, saying 'we need moire money' which she then spends on tattoos, leaving you more responsibility as the main carer of your child, her familiy and her start critising the way you parent, you become medically, physically and emotionally stressed and anxious beause you clearly are overloaded with the responsibility of 2 people and then she decides to leave you saying, 'I can't handle how you've become' So you go get help, you see counsellors and doctors over the next 2 months and you deal with your problems alone (it's not like the person that says shes loves you should help you or anything!) and when you're on the other side of it all, she basically says 'screw you, I'm not gping back to that'
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33 답변I sure wish that I had a girlfriend. There is this girl that I have liked for over a year, but I have been too nervous to talk to her... *sigh*
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1 답변Honestly that sounds like no fun. My relationship is based on subtle roasts and emotional connection with some of that lovey dovey stuff. You can't let that list and the kind of relationship you spell out define how you act around boy/girl/attack helicopter you are interested in. You're misleading a forum of mouthbreathers(no offense mouthbreathers, I'm referring to myself as well lol) into thinking that the only way a relationship is successful is to be the really annoying couple nobody likes. ALSO: This should all be common courtesy stuff. You should pretty much know you treat your girl well and step up for her. You don't need a list.
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3 답변I've had relationships like this and I'm not a fan. Dating someone who is your "best friend" is the best relationship style I've found. Being with someone you can be open with and just hang out with is so much better than having to be with someone you feel the need to constantly impress.
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4 답변Op assumes I'm going to date a female and disrespects the fact that I am papercupsexual. Op is Communist scum.
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4 답변I have a question , What do I do with my penis? It's not mentioned in the contract and all the forehead kissing is frustrating.
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1 답변Please just read this guys name to realize he is 12 with a middle school date. [spoiler]The name is "ifarted69".....[/spoiler]
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7 답변
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12 답변작성자: DOTx3 7/25/2016 11:59:04 AMOP is virgin confirmed. No sex related things? Sorry but I get real tired of having to pressure most girls into blowjobs and anal...Oh and swallowing. Chicks always make a big deal about that too. So if I was going to make a contract it'd have a lot of that shit in it.
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The first step is relatively easy. Put a two slices of Toast in an envelope with the female's name on it. Step two requires patience; requiring a 48 hour period of zero contact until the female gives back the envelope. Do not open the envelope again until you're in a secure environment. If step two was performed successfully, the envelope should now contain nude pics of your target. Step three requires speaking to her alone using a secret code: If you ask: "Is the peanut butter in the potato?" and she answers with: "No it is in the apple sauce.", then the Toast/Envelope Method was performed successfully and you can continue your courtship on your own terms. Alternatively, if you are kicked in the testicles upon uttering the code, it is safe to say she is not interested. Still works like a charm
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