You know these people well, they haunt the LFG scene and if you've ever raided with randoms then you've already encountered these people. I'm talking about [i]The 9 Kinds of Microphone Abusers you Raid With.[/i] They're all obnoxious noise polluters and [u]none[/u] of them know where the mute button is. *** *** *** [b]1. The Serial Killer -[/b] [i]their creepy breathing is loud and ceaseless. You just know they're gaming on a couch made of human skin.[/i] [b]2. The Hunger Gamer -[/b] [i]everything they say is filtered through a mouthful of potato crisps plucked from a packet that is seemingly bottomless.[/i] [b]3. The Daycare Worker -[/b] [i]this individual has no understanding of contraception or managing the behaviour of their children. The screaming of children is occasionally interrupted by an exasperated spouse begging them for help.[/i] [b]4. The DJ - [/b][i]do you like hip hop? The DJ doesn't care. Any chance you had of hearing your team mates has been drowned out by phat beats and dope rhymes for the whole raid. The ... whole ... raid.[/i] [b]5. The Vaper - [/b][i]easily distinguished by their southern drawl and constant vaping - think redneck Darth Vader.[/i] [b]6. Little Timmy -[/b] [i]you feel creepy just for talking to this minor via the Internet. They have never died in a raid from legitimate circumstances, it's always lag or some kind of weird glitch. Their shrill voice is occasionally interrupted by a parent yelling "FIVE MORE MINUTES"[/i] [b]7. The Home Theatre Enthusiast - [/b][i]this ear destroying gamer communicates via their Kinect, 8 foot away from them, nestled between 1,000 watt speakers cranked to max volume.[/i] [b]8. The Wind Waker -[/b] [i]it's hard to tell if they're gaming in a hurricane or right next to a 50 inch industrial strength fan, but this gamer is less likely to end up at the raid completion screen as they are the Land of Oz.[/i] [b]9. The Potty Trainer - [/b][i]it's unsure whether this person is proud of the way they can shoot urine into a toilet with the velocity and force of a fighter jet or they simply forgot the mute button, but either way ... dude ... no ... we don't need to hear that[/i] Have I forgotten any? Add your own and if it's good enough I'll add it to the list. *** *** *** [u]Edit: and here are some suggestions:[/u] [b]The Dazed and Confused - [/b][i]the frequent bubbling sounds, the way they laugh at their own deaths, you always know when you're raiding with a stoner.[/i] - XxMrsLaggxX [b]The General Patton - [/b][i]more of an attitude problem than microphone etiquette issue but none the less still frustrating. They know every technique and aren't afraid to order you around like maggot scum. Every one of your deaths will be criticised. Do not challenge their authority![/i] -so many commenters suggested this [b]The Socialite -[/b] [i]Talks to everyone in their home, without any kind of awareness of the fact that the rest of us in the party don't care about your personal life, or what you are talking to your family about.[/i] - Akuma07 [b]The Typhoid Gamer - [/b] [i]If they're not blowing their nose they are coughing up a lung. Have sympathy. Pulmonary Fibrosis blows. It definitely doesn't suck[/i] -DeltaZulu77 [b]The Lurker - [/b] [i]Less of a microphone abuser and more of a microphone neglecter, this silent protagonist has a mic but never says anything. They just listen ... wait ... plot ...[/i] - RAIDENJOESTAR [b]The Bee - [/b] [i]BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz[/i] - riotfury777 [b]The Impressionist - [/b][i]This would-be entertainer thinks their Morgan Freeman and Christopher Walken impressions are on point but they'd clear an open mic night in seconds. Easily identified by saying things like "Hey guys, wanna hear by Bane or Seinfeld?"[/i]