>Be me 2 years ago >See cute sausagette on FB >Start talking >Start talking dirty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) >Want to hook up >We agree to meet at a park in two days >Fast Forward two days >Meet up at a nearby park >I'm a bit early, but w/e >A few minutes pass and I'm getting a bit worried >I see someone walking towards me >It's a fat German man >I realize that she was actually an obese German man pretending to be a sausage >Ohshit.png >Run for my life >Hide behind bush, hoping he doesn't see me >Look up to see Kraut staring at me, with hunger in his eyes >He grabs me >Places me in a bun and puts sauerkraut on me >Eats me >I am now kill