The problem you state is actually why psn is better then xbl because of the huge down time a few years ago Sony decided to use smaller clustered servers rather then massive servers. What this results in is if there is a ddos attack some servers stay online while other go down. This allows for some people to still get on line even tho not everyone will. Sony's only weakness right now is that they need more servers to really out scale massive servers which will happen, it just takes time. The time it takes isn't because of a lack of desire to spend money it's because buisness politics don't allow them to spend all of the money they need to in one quarter. They have to show a profit for their investors, they are legally obligated too. The end result tho 5 years from now sony won't even flinch in a ddos while xbox will still go offline for half a day.
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That's funny because what you state as psn'so bonus is what Microsoft did with xbox live on xbox one. It's why we can't party chat with 360 users because we are essentially on different a different xbox live. Something about being able to create dedicated servers for fps games if the developer chooses to do that. Eliminating *host advantage*