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Spawnにより編集済み:
11/7/2014 5:21:41 PM
254
I Would Never Let My Daughter Play Online
I love video games and would love for my daughter to grow up wanting to play with me but I would never let her play online. Guys are constantly rude 24/7 and make truly vulgar jokes that are inappropriate for women. Or guys immediately turn creepy and try to pickup any girl that happens into a lobby. Its really embarassing when a girl hops on and within the minute there is usually some sexual reference regarding the mouth.
How do girl players actually play any games without being harassed or play without their mics on mute 24/7? Can you forsee women having a place in the gaming community in the future? Besides just the attractive girls that play or model for games and magazines in skimpy clothing? Do women have a chance in gaming?
At this juncture there is no way I would let any girl play video games online and that is such a sad reality imho.
Edit: valid points made about sheltering but what do we do as a society. I know this is unanswerable question. Just a conversation piece. I find it concerning the answer is to deal with it and no proactive response. Thanks for the responses guys guess first time parent worries.
English
#Gaming
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Mute, block or report the cretins while befriending those that act with decency...problem solved. The online gaming community (in my experience) is a great deal like being in Vegas/Atlantic City or Cabo at 3am: lots of people have disinhibitors in their system and will usually say/do whatever pops into their head...these are still good people, however, their stress level is so high that they do not care if a "Pollyanna" gets offended by their experience with a rougher crowd. Tell your daughter to play with who she enjoys playing with; if a party member states something offensive, tell her to say why it's not acceptable behavior & that if it happens again, they'll be blocked/reported. The sooner that she can identify and deal with the undesirables, the better - this will prevent her from being blindsided by someone she thought she could trust. Hang in there, use common sense and be prepared to deal with hormone crazed teenagers. ;-)
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1 返信
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I play without a headset. My brother shares the same gamer tag as I do. And between him and myself, we only have 25 on our friends list. The smaller the easier to manage. I started with accepting random friend request, but the best gamers we found came from this forum from the "meet and greet" post. I just want to play destiny and have no desire to chat on the mic or seek any attention. Friends invite me for strikes, nightfall, and even to my disbelief - VOG but did not complete. I have the chat on to hear the other players while on the Raid. I really have no desire to talk online and definitely don't want to draw any attention. I just want to play the game and enjoy. All I can say is, I have a great gaming experience on ps4 and Destiny. I think looking for a group for your daughter to game with is a good option. Ofcourse that plus your parental guidance.
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Reading these posts and seeing how respectful people still are and that there are still mature people in this world has restored some of my faith in humanity this evening. I hope I get to run into some of you honest people in game. :D bless ya all!! Cheers lads and lasses
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Yeah I face that problem alot, so I just have a small group of friends I know irl to always play with. So I would recommend her getting a group of irl friends and nice people that she's become friends with online and play with them (just mute the other players).
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A Traffic Coneにより編集済み: 11/8/2014 6:25:46 AMYou're probably better off letting her play online rather than experience it in the real world. At least in this case she can learn how to react and feel about it. When it happens in person she'll have learned to ignore it and more than likely flip them off (hopefully) In the game you can set privacy settings so it wont go too far, but she'll see what some guys are like. The good, the bad, and the ones who just want to play.
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6 通の返信
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11 通の返信Anytime you're constraining someone's freedom based on their gender you're discriminating against that person. Not allowing children to play online until they are old enough and have enough preparation for the realities of that medium of interaction is responsible parenting. Disallowing only one gender of child from the activity of gaming online is sexism. Also, it allows the problem to continue by constraining the number of females present in the gaming space, thereby reinforcing the false idea that gaming is the realm of the masculine gender. Women already do have a place in the gaming community - their presence from gamers to developers (and marketers too) is diverse and growing. The proactive response is the preparation of our children (regardless of gender) to interact in social spaces where sexism and other forms of prejudice and/or bullying may emerge. We teach them not to engage in those behaviours, and how to cope when confronted by those behaviours. We teach them why those behaviours emerge and how not to get sucked into them. And we spend time in our social spaces reinforcing the message that prejudice and harassment will not be tolerated.
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I agree with you OP. I have a daughter who isn't old enough to play online games yet. But when she gets old enough, when I think of her playing any game where she can be identified female, I cringe. When I played pc games at a young age, I admit I did [i]some[/i] of the same things, but not too bad and [b]not[/b] vulgar at all. Just innocent flirting. Now days It's just kids being mean because of bad/lackluster parenting. Parents need to monitor kids more. I know it is absolutely difficult and almost impossible at times, but an attempt should be made...
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6 通の返信For any future daughters I might have, I would much rather let her play this than go out to clubs, get drunk, smoke and sleep with strangers like the rest of the skanky girls that seem to partake in that sort of thing. She can learn teamwork, hand-eye coordination, stay safe and how to deal with anonymity and insults. Thanks to social media and popular culture, excessive alcohol, sex with strangers and jiggling your booty like a slut seems to be what is cool these days.
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2 通の返信Tell her that if a guys first question is, "are you a girl", donmt be friends with them.
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Hello SILENTD3AT4, I am glad you brought this up and it is an excellent topic for discussion. Your worries are well founded even if uninformed. I know that some people have already commented on how uninformed they think you are and you may get a lot more of that. I for one amd glad you reached out. Stepping out of the discussion of the gaming community for a second "Guys are constantly rude 24/7 and make truly vulgar jokes that are inappropriate for women" this is an excellent statement about life in our society in general. Your daughter, by virtue of her gender and/or sexedness is gonna to be faced with rude people her whole life. She is going to have strangers tell her she should 'smile more' or that she should dress more slutty, or less slutty, that she should wear more makeup or less makeup. Older woman will approach her to discuss her reproductive status at the bus stop. She will be the target of sexual assault and/or harassment and she will be blamed for it. Most things she enjoys or looks forward to will be couched in terms based on gender like Womens Basketball. No matter how smart she is the mainstream will perceive her as smart 'for a woman' or skilled 'for a woman'. This is a wonderful opportunity for her to face some of these issues at home where you can witness them first hand and give her advice and suggestions on how to deal with them. This is an opportunity for you to reach out to non-gaming communities on issues related to the pressures people face to conform to the hegemonic discourse. What do we do as a society? Like everything it starts one day at a time and one conversation at a time. If you hear fellow gamers using discursive violence then react, don't simply mute them actually say something. Tell them that their language is offensive. If you mute them make sure they know why you are muting them. Unfriend them and make sure they know why. Lodge a complaint if the mechanic exists on your system. Make the community an unfriendly place for unfriendly people and maybe their behaviour will change. Here is an excellent link to get you started it is a video by Extra Credits about video game harassment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt9GwmOWoqo&list=PLhyKYa0YJ_5D2JEqj_h7EtfXpq7UkbUqv
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9 通の返信SoulRebelにより編集済み: 11/6/2014 10:57:01 PMThis is actually interesting to me, because of the entire women in gaming movement. Isn't this just another form of censorship? Yes men can be crude, but don't they have the right to be? Yes, women can be fragile, don't they have the right to be? Where do the lines cross? I believe your fist has the freedom to do what it wants up until it hits my face, and vice versa right? Where do we go from here? Who is at fault? Is there a fault? Is freedom of speech really freedom of speech, or do we have to censor ourselves at every turn for the sake of others? Feminists claim that gaming is sexist, but don't creators have the right to make there work how they wish? Interesting to think about, but the bottom line is treat others how you would like to be treated, and a joke is a joke, so please have a sense of humor. Maybe.
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While I understand what you're saying and I certainly understand you wanting to protect your daughter.. " and make truly vulgar jokes that are inappropriate for women." that is kinda a sexist statement.. you're sort of saying that guys make jokes the "weak" women can't handle.... another point is that.. yes there are a lot of ignorant and stupid little kids online, but there are also awesome people and finding the right group of people to play imo makes op for all the shit you can come into contact with
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1 返信PlagueDoctor013により編集済み: 11/7/2014 3:38:28 AMI have several female friends who I play games online with. A lot males, mostly sheltered or solo players with poor social skills, go overboard or creepy. More and more are starting play video games too. Almost to the point it's a social norm and a hobby or pass time, like watching tv or reading.
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The only true answer is victim shaming, guys at the age of video games are to thick-skulled to understand that both genders play video games. But by victim shaming, i mean that she should just not wear a mic, but then if she gets really good, school the asshats by at the end of the game going "woo! Go team!"
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I guess it comes from maturity levels. There is a setting to mute all players except friends so there is that. Not every guy acts out with their sexual thoughts though lol guys still act out like that in real life so at least she could mute them on Destiny lol
