Lol, what is health?

Props for sharing. I've got a cute thing called Imposter Syndrome. The funny thing about IS is that you constantly doubt that you have it. Usually, IS causes people to question their abilities (this isn't the whole medical meaning, just my sum-up) and hurts gifted kids especially hard, so you'd think that it wouldn't try to trick you into thinking you don't even have it, but oh well. It's compounded by school culture, where kids who try to acknowledge their abilities (or just brag, but it happens to all kids who talk in a positive manner about themselves) have their egos destroyed and are looped into the cycle of deprecating yourself, which leads to you doing worse, which leads to more deprecation.

Feeling my talents aren’t adequate and that all others around me are more likely to achieve the goals in life that I want to achieve, as well as slight body dysmorphia.

2 Timothy 1:7 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Philippians 4:6-7

Alright. I deal with a lot of uncertainty about my friends and myself. So I only get to see my friends twice a week. Once Sunday, once Tuesday. Usually, we hang out and talk and what not. The thing is, they’re all public schooled and have a bunch of other friends that they’re much closer too. So I just feel like an extra. A friend just for the sake of it. Also, youth group has changed now so we spend more time in discussion. This leaves little time to actually connect. Sometimes we get along fine, but most of the time I just feel not needed and unwanted. Example One week we get along like best friends. Next week, despite my best efforts (I struggle a lot with socializing) it seems like they want nothing to do with me. Next week we get along like best friends. And it’s just this constant loop of uncertainty. Are they my friends, are they not, are they? And it makes me wanna break down and cry because I don’t know anyone. I also really only have one best friend, but he’s not there often, so I don’t see him much. I have another “best friend” (they’re one of the on/off friends) but she’s kinda everyone’s friend, so it’s hard to get just her to talk to. I’m also a one on one person, but I don’t really have a friend that I can go to and rely on. It’s frustrating, confusing, depressing, painful, aching. I’m also a really emotional person, so my mind is easily affected by these things. Sometimes I tell myself things “They’re not my friends” “Don’t expect them to be there for you” “Your just a friend” “You don’t have anyone” But I don’t know if it’s true or not. Sometimes it seems like it, and other times it doesn’t. By I don’t know anymore. There’s also for of us. We argue a lot. One of them bullies me, one try’s to help, and the other one is that really dumb captain obvious. So I’m summery, I’m hurting, I’m depressed, I’m easily frustrated right now, I’m confused, and I’m lost. Edit: this is the longest thing I’ve wrote

Depression, a lot of suicidal thoughts as well. I haven’t told anybody close to me except my mother. I’ve called the hotline on multiple occasions. The therapy I’ve tried doesn’t work.

I usually don’t talk about this kind of thing but I’ve been considering taking atomoxetine now more than ever

Depression, like most teens. I like to hide it behind a mask of comedy and lude jokes, but deep down I am usually really sad

IBS

I’ve been diagnosed with depression and PTSD, stemming from both a childhood trauma and an unhealthy relationship with my disability. I am on antidepressants which help a lot, and I am waiting on a call about starting formal counselling (I don’t have the money for private so I’m stuck on an NHS waiting list; we’ll see how long for…). The biggest barrier in my life is shame. I’ve felt ashamed to go out in public, ashamed to express myself, ashamed to challenge others, ashamed to stick up for myself, ashamed to meet new people and go to new places, ashamed to just exist.

Depression, most likely. Never officially diagnosed though, as I've never gone to a doctor/therapist about it as I refuse to be put on antidepressants. I know part of the reason I'm depressed so much, but I am not comfortable talking about it so I'm cutting it short there.

PTSD. After years of therapy for it, I’m managing much better. Therapist actually recommended gaming as part of my therapy. So here I am.

*loads snipper* U called me boring?

Psychopathy

Insomnia.

Concept of self-worth