Happy holidays and welcome back to yet another OffTopic News Report. People are going to be kicked out of OffTopic? Rumors are spread as people conspire to kick out members of the community. A shocking study found that wiener size does in fact matter. This means you need to get the right ratio of wiener to bun. Too much bun and you can’t taste the wiener. Too much wiener and you can’t taste the bun. The ratio has to be perfect. A local citizen is getting furious of people not being able to spell right or have good grammar. Ironically, they forgot to put a period at the end of their post… In other news, an OffTopican got away unharmed after a car crash. Sadly, they aren’t sure if their car, Sparky, is gonna make it. Things seem to be looking dire for Sparky. Send your condolences. This has been ONR (Remember to Hail Hydra!)