One particular branch of my extended family is VERY political, it’s like the entire group of siblings were raised in the House of Commons or some shit, anyway one get together me and the younger fam made bingo cards with all the ridiculous things they would say and get into arguments over and the winner got exclusive access to all the leftover food for the rest of the evening. We don’t have big get togethers anymore, we’ve all splintered off over the past decade or so, and there was only ever one host and I don’t think she has the energy for it now anyway, so now the family stressors are just the immediate family kind for the most part. I was just home to see them for the weekend and there was almost a blow-up, hate to think what Christmas is gonna be like...

I usually locked myself in the bathroom during these parties. I can remember this tactic of mine from as early as I think my seventh birthday.

One time me, my brother, and my dad made a bet that my mom would know someone on a cruise we took a few years back. I took the first two days, my brother took the next two, and my dad took the last two. On the second day my mom happened to meet someone that she knew from work but only ever knew her by voice. On a cruise of about 5k people she still freaking knew someone by only their voice, and she didn't even work at the same place they first heard each other anymore so there never was constant contact. Needless to say I won $40 between both my brother & dad. Ironically though, my mom and I met a couple on the same cruise who were in my dad's graduating class and may have known him.

Whenever we do anything, my family does it forty five minutes late, almost every time

I used to love hanging out with my wife’s family since mine are spread out all over America. Then things started going downhill with everyone’s finances, some of us lost our jobs and then years later COVID hits. Now it’s all stressful and there’s so little time to do anything now that the few of us who work have to pull 45-50 hour work weeks just to pay bills and put food on the table. My wife absolutely insists on having family over every Christmas and I want nothing to do with it. It’s hell trying to get an apartment cleaned up when you live with people that have honest-to-gods mental issues and they can barely clean up after themselves. Yeah I’m done with family gatherings.

Smart