[spoiler]heh see what I did there? I altered the wording so I don't copy Golden Owl when it's relatively the same thin- wait no I didn- it's legal I swear! No d-[/spoiler] So lemme start off with the fact I've never played Halo outside of a half hour of custom PvP with friends during a fifth grade sleep over [spoiler]Also aside from the fact I've watched gameplay of all games along with all their cutscenes (and secret cutscenes), have watched all of [b]Red vs Blue[/b], have watched [b]Nightfall[/b](it sucked imo), [b]Halo Legends[/b], and [b]Halo: Fall of Reach[/b], as well as maybe two or three lore videos about unrelated things in the Halo universe I have an Xbox, I just don't play it [/spoiler] Why am I doing this? Is it influenced by Owl's reviews? Why this movie? y e s [spoiler]it was free on YouTube. I was bored. I watched it. I decided to do this for the heck of it. but hey! finally, a review not about an anime! I barely review those to begin with so y'all might not even remember cause loot does em more [/spoiler] moving on! this is not really a critique, i'm just gonna go over the plot and say what I want about it spoilers of course -- 1) [b]introduction[/b] We get a "roll credits" less than 5 minutes in... just sayin Ngl, I thought for a second that the whole movie would be in epic CGI. Then I remembered the trailer I watched back in 2016 or so and was a bit disappointed but whatever (Very nice Cortana inner monologue, really shows and kinna explains the A.I. deterioration.) I recognized the Lasky fellow from a Halo game's cutscenes (5 I'm sure...) it's been a while since I looked at Halo, but I remember him. The cut from CG to live action was a bit iffy, but it's hard to pull off so I say good job. Starting it with some nice cryopod coughing 2) [b]cast[/b] Well, I can tell Lasky's gonna be the talented rebellious kid and that the other girl is gonna have some kind of romantic relation later on in the movie. They've also got a laid back friend who hacks on his spare time, a stuck up leader who seems more like a side character, a semi bully who will definitely warm up to the MC, an Asian kid with Asian parents (you know what I mean), a literal "do you even know who my mother is?", a higher up that also doubles as an mother figure, and another officer who probably lives and breathes Corbulo, and then the extras Lookin good. side note: Lasky also hates war while... Girl 1(I forgot okay), hates the Insurrectionists. can anyone say cinema chemistry? 3) [b]before shiz hits the fan[/b] we learn Lasky's bro is a corps- I mean an ODST and his mother is a ... in the military too (not sure if ODST or just officer I forget) We also learn he's allergic to war (its just the cryo chemical thing) so yeah... The cast discovers classified film of an Insurrection fight which later turns into a enemy of my enemy thing as something bigger starts approaching , ending in a frame of a Spartan. They later find the reflection of a Space giraffe with a laser key (don't @ me I'm doing it on purpose) on said non-roman Spartan's helmet. I like how the characters are reacting like they've never seen covenant or spartans, because they haven't. and thats neat writing. Lasky and Chyler (I looked up the name after writing all this) do a smooch because... they buddies. thats when we transition tOooOooo... 4) [b]shiz hits the fan[/b] I like how I can tell the elevator is a death flag. just from the fact that all the main characters are in the middle of the line and one character cuts ahead of the line alone like a sacrifice... I also like how they discuss that ODST's dropping down where you are is never a good sign. It's like if [Dark Souls 3 reference ahead] you saw the Abyss Watchers walking up to your city with torches, pitch forks, and their giant toothpicks. It means your'e in the middle of something hella bad and probably gonna die in the process of its eradication. What creeps me the most, is that after the rubble of the tether crashes down, the people from the lift above start falling down as well, [b]AND SCREAMING[/b]... and thats creepy as heck... its like, "oh, that cloud looks like Timmy!" *splat* "OH SH#T, IT WAS TIMMY! ewww, I got a bit of Timmy on my shoe" 5) [b]shiz after the fan[/b] well, now we play the "[i]who dies next[/i]" game! how many death flags can I spot with my legally blind eyes? [b]"I'll take point"[/b] - oh theres one! [b]a guy cut off from the group?[/b] - oh thats TWO! anymore? oh hey! Master Chief, I know that guy! He's luck incarnate! Looks like its up hill from here boys- [b]oh? a needler bolt headed straight for a dude's fac[/b]- as I said, Chief Is there. Up hill. Sully is also the sole source of comedy in this film, so he has plot armor for his service as an emotional aid. It really strikes hard when someone tells you and three others that you're the only ones left alive on the planet, minutes after you were in a evacuation line with the entire school... 6) [b]escapé the cit- planet[/b] The warthog drive was neat, shame no one mentioned it having six pedals when there are only four directions but whatever, cant have everything. suddenly, rouge grunt f's it all up. we get another death, so that sucks. Love Is a death flag... We hear chief talk to Kelly so thats another [i]"I know that name![/i]" then Lasky pulls a "strategy learned from earlier in the movie" cliché and he and chief take down a... I dont know what it was but it had big guns and looked like a covenant non-spider version of a Mancubus from Doom... then they make it to the Pelican where Kelly and... other spartan (I haven't looked at Halo in a while) await. The spartan's do a face reveal (except Chief cause he's [I]too cool for a face[/i]), and Sully asks their age. of course its age, not "why your eyes so f-ing huge", or, "hi whats your name?" but thats fine. the fans know... -- conclusion All in all, a good Halo film. Better than what I thought of Nightfall (I didn't realize it was Locke until I read comments... way to leave a mark). I like the special effects and the vehicles too (Warthog, more like Wart[i]pog[/i]). Guns look a bit janky and all, but its still good, actually needlers look pretty good. their bolts too. The scenery is great and settings well designed. well... maybe not the tether Literally the moment I saw that thing operate, I thought "oh boy, that's gonna crash down aint it..." then the 3 covenant ships did the spoopy reveal and I knew what would happen... Its also nice how their first impression of a Spartan up close is that their robots, until the decide to show their big @ss eyes- I mean face... their face. And you dont really realize how strange the concept of a Spartan is to regular folks who aren't in the know. Its also scary that the covenant folks are tall and that you take for granted how much of a unit Chief is until you put on the boots of the little man. Grunts are 5 1/2... thats 8 feet smaller than me... imagine, "[I]a Grunt is almost as tall as you[/I]" -- I rate it: [u]6 pedals out of 4 directions[/u] reasoning: [u]It revived my faith in video game movies just a tad.[/u] [b]Funny of the Film!! [/b]--Colonel Mehaffey gets hit by a few needlers and [I]explodes[/I]-- [spoiler]Tell me if you want me to review Halo Legends next... ill do a better job I swear Im not copying Golden Owl, I swear... (•_•; ) (this took so long to type, I had to switch to computer... its already 10pm. I watched it at 8pm. im done editing, ima post now)[/spoiler]