TL;DR: Have an old account, logged into it, changed some things like account name and email, unlinked xbox account (original log in method), can't log back into the account, went through all account recovery steps exactly, think the issue is that I changed the name of the account and when attempting to log into it with the original method (xbox login) the names don't match up and it thinks its a new account.
From everything I've read I have a 90 day limit on getting help for my Bungie account that I lost access to. Ive got less than 20 days now I need actual help. One of the topics I've made about this issue: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/254050177