So what your saying is.. [spoiler]Nerf Fusions?[/spoiler]

What’s a girlfriend? Is this a Pokémon I haven’t caught yet!?

Dont worry robo-wives are around the corner I landed an exotic 'GRIL' a few years back with awesome perks 'Horizontal Tango' proc'd often sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. After grinding away with the 'GRIL' for a couple years the 'marriage' ornament finally dropped and the 'GRIL' turned into 'The Wife' the 'Horizontal Tango' perk still proc'd the same but now had an additional occasional rare perk dubbed 'kids' once the 'kids' proc counter bumped up to x1 it reduced the proc of 'Horizontal Tango' and repaced it with the 'responsibilities' perk which procs daily At x2 the 'kids' perk enhanced the 'responsibilities' perk and strengthened its effects At x3 the 'kids' perk the 'responsibilities' perk again strengthened and began to proc almost constantly while the 'Horizontal Tango' perk proc reduced significantly and was replaced with the 'lack of sleep' perk. I have read in the lore that one day the 'Horizontal Tango' perk may make a comeback when the 'kids' perk evolves to the 'Adult' perk and rarely procs unless it needs glimmer or to borrow the sparrow for the weekend.

Check the post master.

Have you told them your KD yet? I hear women melt when you tell them your kd

Girlfriends are temporary. Loot is forever.

The girlfriend drop is truly the most exotic of exotic not simply because of how rare it is but also because of the vast range of randam traits that can spawn with it. And the also the commitments it requires. It's very important to do your research on the traits you would like to see in your girlfriend drop. An important one that most guardians seem to care about is the "put out" trait. Basically how often you can expect to reach god mode in a week for maximum efficiency and letalness. It also buffs your guardian with "stress relief" allowing him or her to be more relaxed and focused for 24 hours. Its important to pay attention to the the ratio of this and to look if there is a potential drop off rate later into masterworking. I've heard some guardians say their girlfriend exotic hasn't achieved "put out" in months and in worse cases years. Others require a steady stream of glimmer shards and masterwork cores to keep using and if you run dry your girlfriend exotic will stop working all together and might even dismantle herself in order to return to the loot pool and find another guardian. Note that these usually come with a high "put out" ratio but unless you can keep a steady stream of resources its recommended you avoid. Note that this trait has never been seen with the loyalty trait which gives you a permanent buff of damage increase. Further down the line around 7 or 8 for masterworking it will require a commitment to commit at level 10. Meaning you can have no other girlfriend exotic for the rest of your destiny career. It is locked in the slot and can only be removed with approval from Zavala and it usually ends up with the girlfriend exotic getting half your resources and sometimes your ghost if she's spawned the "bitch" trait. Other things to mention real quick the girlfriend exotic while it can be very powerful does require "one on one time" to keep it running smoothly. There is a meter you can see on inspection and it's important to check it daily due to the randomness it has. You may be able to go a day or two with the meter full only to find it has dropped almost to zero on the third. To keep this fresh your girlfriend exotic may want you to take it to Tess and buy it new ornaments or go sight seeing on Io. This could ruin your plans of finally achieving legendary in gambit or hitting the raid with your buddies. In fact it happens very often when you make those plans so it's best to be prepared for that. With all things Guardian everything has a cost. But with patience time and a little bit of luck the girlfriend exotic can be the best thing to happen in your destiny career. I know it has been for me. Good luck!