Me when I am laggy: "Where is everyone? Why won't my gun reload? Oh I'm dead... somehow. Why is that Titan blinking? Why am I not capping this zone? What?! A shotgun killed me how? He was across the map? Whatever we've almost won, wow my Kd must be low. Oh wait, connecting to servers... and I'm kicked. Great."
Everyone else seemingly when laggy: "I AM GOD! FEAR ME! YOU GET A SHOTGUN, AND YOU GET A SHOTGUN, EVERYONE GETS MY SHOTGUN! KILL ME?! FUNNY JOKE, I CAN'T DIE! BUT YOU CAN! I AM EVERYWHERE AND NOWHERE! FEAR ME!"