I am officially running for President of the United States. My platform will be simple, I am not those losers who have been screwing you over for the last 50 years. My goal will be to reform the government or throw their asses in prison. Maybe I should force reform by throwing them in prison. I shall also try to convince foreign automakers to open some plants here in America, so that way they are not having to ship them in those huge ships that pollute a lot more than owning a muscle car would. This will also create jobs. I am going to make America not be the World Police. For a fee though, we can provide private security. This will provide our troops with better pay and give us another way of earning money for our military budget. The troops can volunteer for that, so that way they are not forced to it. I have to work out all the particulars to make this a safe issue, so it may get scrapped. California will be washed, scrubbed down and re-trained. There will be no more homeless vets. If I have to, I will lure them into a house with monkey bread! Budget. Gotta have one. Gotta pay off them debts. Maybe I can sell the politicians or trade them to our debtors........need to consider that as well. Molasses Cookies will be the American Cookie. I will figure out a way to "convince" major companies to give real raises. It will be ok to start at minimum wage, but good raises need to be there for those who are willing to work & do a good job. Not sure how to make this happen, so will be open to suggestions. I will pass an executive order that organizations not have more than 5 letters, so the NBA can not become the NBAPRC. That is just a personal change for older folks. Our new motto will be, "Be Nice or else". Not sure how that will work, but I feel bad for most the internet. Nigerian princes will have to pay back those people they ripped off! Telemarketing CEO's will be stuck in a room and forced to answer these calls until they understand why we hate them. The internet will be free. I am going to figure that one out, because lag sucks. I would like to do some kind of tuition help for people that keep it in their pants until married. That will take some thought, but it will create an incentive to not make babies, which should also help some on the abortion issue. I also want to make it more affordable to adopt & add more case workers to handle to adoption load & follow ups to make sure they families do well. We can afford that by firing some politicians. I would love to figure out a way for people to work 4 days a week and people on the retirement end to only work 3 days a week. Not saying that will happen, but it would be nice if we could have more time for our families & friends, especially the ones who take forever to get the campaign started! (I am so gonna get kicked from the campaign before it even starts the way I am teasing him) Anything else I should add? Dungeons & Dragons could be our new national sport since football has obviously gone sissified. I think lunch should be 2 hours long, that way folks can eat & take a nap. It would make people nicer.