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Destiny 2

Discuss all things Destiny 2.
2/3/2019 3:57:26 AM
23

A Titans perspective of the enemy factions: Fallen

[DISCLAIMER: [b]THIS IS ALL MEANT TO BE INFORMATIVE AS WELL AS FUNNY, NOT TO BE AN ASSHOLE[/b]] *Walks into the classroom with half a bottle of beer and a note pad* Alright you -blam!-wits, sit down! I’m your substitute lore teacher for this week, so if you think of doing anything funny, shut the -blam!- up and listen! I’m a Titan, I ain’t no bitchy ass Hunter or Nerdy Ass warlock. I’m a mans man. I eat monsters for breakfast. So you are gonna listen to me when I speak or I swear to -blam!- I’ll put ya in the ground. Any questions? *One guardian raises their hand* Put that -blam!-in hand down that was a rhetorical question asswipe! Don’t make me thrust your head through your desk! NOW, onto the lesson your Teacher left. [b]The Fallen: Backstory[/b] What you need to know about these four armed freaks is that once upon who the -blam!- knows how long these guys had their own civilization and called themselves Eliksniz sounds like a bad type of could medicine. It was also probably on some world shittier than Pluto before it was denounced as a planet. Anyhoo, these guys had a pretty good gig since the Traveler apparently came to them first. After a few centuries, some great cosmic death wave hit them, they ran off and started chasing the Traveler still believing themselves chosen. Idiot bugs. What’s funny is that this history is similar to our own which you should cover in shit that’s not important class. Moving on. [b]The Fallen: Biology[/b] Now these four armed freak shows are a lot more than what is shown once you incinerate em. According to field reports they also got four eyes, four small mandibles with teeth, and hook like fingers which allow them to crawl up walls like spiders. -blam!-in hate spiders but that’s beside the point! What’s more....what the -blam!-? They breathe Ether? You mean a colorless flammable gas that should explode whenever we pop their heads?! JERRY?! IS THAT TRUE?! THESE SONS OF -blam!-ERS BREATHE FLAMMABLE GAS?! WHO DOES THAT?! THESE ARE THE WORST ALIENS EVER, OF ALL- *Ten minutes later* [b]The Fallen: Ranks[/b] Now all you gotta know is this. -Shanks: Weak bois -Dregs: Weaker bois -Vandals: Medium Boys -Captains: Semi-Difficult bois -Barons: Hard Bois (bowchickabowwow) -Kells: Tough and mean sons of -blam!-es -Archons: The Gordon Ramsey’s of the Fallen -Servitors: The seatbelts of the Fallen. They’re necessary, but annoying. [b]The Fall-Oh you goddamn get it, Technology and weapons: [/b] The tech of the Fallen is semi more advanced than ours. They tend to use more laser based weapons, such as Arc emitters, while dabbling with solar shrapnel stuff as well as Servitors creating void blasts. How a Servitors works is beyond the -blam!- of me, all I know is that it’s most likely like a Ghost but a big boi. Another thing they’re capable of is creating -blam!-ing awful to fight robotic mechs. Walkers, shanks, and the newest rendition of Titanfall 3- I em an Insurrection prime Servitor. That thing sucked to fight. Recently they tried to get their grubby claws on SIVA and Black armory tech. At this rate they’re like that one neighbor whom steals all your food and you gotta buy new groceries when you got no money left. Real bitch complex. [b]Fallen names you might know[/b] Let’s see, who do you know that ain’t from the prison of elders? Ha! You got Taniks, who’s dead. You got Skolas, who’s also dead. You got Craask!....who’s dead too. You got Sepiks Prime, who was killed, rebuilt, and is now dead again. And you also got Mithrax...er...Mithras...? I dunno all Fallen are the same to me. This guy is supposedly alive but never trust a Fallen! Point is, the Fallen we see are the last of their kind. So GET OUT THERE AND COMMIT EXTINCTION! TEACH THEM RIGHT FER ATTACKING THE CITY TWICE AND THINKING THEY COULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT!! *Throws the notepad at the window, shattering it* *Finishes off the bottle of beer and throws it out the window* EAT MY ASS FALLEN! ILL KICK ALL YER ASSES!!! Oh and class dismissed. Kinderguardians...grrr. Shaxx and Zavala owe me big time....

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