[i]hey guys! This is a page I’ve been ready for, for about 2 years! You all heard the references to it, but here’s the page itself, finally. It was around the time I got this idea that I actually started writing these stories about my guardian. Thank you all for still reading her adventures ❤️ many more to come, now enjoy Shadow’s meltdown and a page I’m very very happy to finally present to you... ps who can find the D1 reference? ;) [/i] Entry (8/10)          Music blasts into the hunter's ears. Fireworks explode overhead. Strobe lights flash around her, the air is clotted with smoke and confetti.      Maybe if the music was loud enough, the pain would be drowned out, she thought.      Maybe if the drinks were harder, she would forget.      Maybe if the lights were brighter than his eyes, she'd stop seeing them.      Shadow slams down another empty glass on the table nearest to her. Fake smiles, laughter. She's jostled between the bodies of other guardians. All she can feel is pure, raw, fierce pain. If her ghost couldn't heal it, maybe the drinks would. She can hear her ghost very very faintly, but she waves him away with an unsteady hand.      Over the course of the night her laughter turns into short, panting gasps, eyes filled with hot tears. Colors begin blending together. Were those stars, or lights? She raises a hand to her throbbing head, clenching her jaw.      The tower is spinning, filled with Guardians celebrating. A nova bomb blasts past her, ruffling raven-black hair. The three shots of a golden gun send her mind into a downward spiral of memories— shockwaves through her soul.    Movement, so much movement, everything spinning, too many drink—      Shadow clenches the railing closest to her and throws up violently over the side of it, emptying the contents of her stomach into the dark below.      After what feels like hours, she lifts her pounding head, observing the swirl of chaos around her. The bass of the music rocks her insides uncomfortably. She drops the half empty bottle beside her and sits on the glitter covered floor.      Sobs rack the hunter's body, harsh and agonizing. She has never cried like she does tonight.      She struggles to focus on the blurred, doubled image of the traveler. A moment of clarity slaps Shadow in the face as she stares into the stars— or lights— blazing above her. "I miss you... so much..."      No one notices the lone hunter in the corner, drowning her sorrows in bottle after bottle... except for one certain exo, who stops in his tracks when he sees her.      "Hey!"      Shadow just barely makes out the word, hardly able to lift her tear stained face. "C.... Cayde?"      "Ohhh boy..." Cayde gets down on one knee, taking in the mess before him, and one very tired ghost (who had probably been on stand by for revival all night.)      "Hey, come on..." He tries to speak over the blasting music, but she can barely hear him- only see a swimming image of his yellow mouth lighting and gleaming blue eyes.      Shadow's hand reaches for him, grabbing his jacket and gripping it like her life depends on it. "It hurts... traveler, it hurts...please...” she hisses out through her drunken state. Her eyes have dulled to a sickly yellow-brown. The last of her focus seems to swirl away.      "Variks..." she chokes on sobs, tears streaming down her face.      Cayde, his face revealing nothing, gently slides his arms underneath the freezing hunter. "Come on," he mutters, knowing she can't hear him. "Let's get you inside." ***      Cayde swears under his breath as he searches for a light switch. Hands preoccupied, he drags his horn along the wall until he hears a click.      The room remains in darkness.      "... Did you not pay your bill!?" With a sigh he fumbles around in the dark. "Never mind," he adds, the only response he gets out of Shadow a muffled groan.      Sundance sends out a beam of light strong enough for Cayde to see as he rests Shadow on her couch with a grunt.      "Alright..." He sighs, looking down at her.      After a moment of guiltily trying to decide whether to leave or not, he sits beside her. She's shaking, sweating, her teeth chattering.      Cayde grabs a blanket off the edge of the couch and gently drops it over her.      "C-Cayde..."      Her vanguard stares back at her. "Sober enough to see me?"      Shadow blinks, misery reflected in the depths of her eyes. Pain scores through her heart and she reaches to grab Cayde's hand.      He tilts his head ever so slightly, curious and pitying.      "... Cayde... I miss Variks."      He looks away from her then, squeezing her hand gently. Her eyes stay trained on his metal face. With a racing heart, Shadow finds herself confessing to the last person she thought she would. She draws in a shaking breath.      "I think I'm in love with him."