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Editado por Girraffalope:
1/22/2023 9:44:38 AM
16
Life lesson from me! (I have not stopped drinking)
Most of you are younger than me. Most of you also don’t leave the house, and will not get to learn essential life lessons from the mistakes your parents protect you from making. I am your parents now. Do bad things.
Some cops have a sense of humor, some do not. The distinction isn’t important, do not talk to cops.
Horse haired men must be either shredded, musically talented, or in a cult. If you’re skinny and don’t go outside, chances are it doesn’t work for you.
Vodka Crans Taste Like Pain.
Smoke cigarettes, but only while you’re young. Your lungs can’t heal as quick when you’re 30. Some people here are gonna tell me I shouldn’t be encouraging dangerous habits, but I’ve found that nobody really listens to peer pressure from a faceless teenager on the internet, and if you do take it up, it was probably gonna happen with or without my influence. Don’t vape.
Change your sheets.
Jewelry looks good on everybody.
You have no reason at all to be afraid of rollercoasters. Except for me, I have a pretty good reason. It involves brain injuries and bills insurance doesn’t cover. But anyways, ride rollercoasters. I would maim any one of you to experience that feeling again. If you’re too short to ride, that’s just funny.
There will come a time when your lasagne attempt just doesn’t work out. Everything happens for a reason. Accept this failure, but do not accept it a second time.
Your mom [i]has[/i] to call you handsome. Only let compliments from strangers go to your head.
If everybody is staring at you, its not a good thing. Humanity doesn’t unify over much, except for glaring at the kid wearing a tail at the airport.
Everybody enjoys Outkast. If they say they don’t, they’re lying to be different.
When you’re drunk, the floor is a wonderful place to sleep, but a miserable place to wake up. Make yourself a floor nest of any soft material within reach before you succumb to the spirits.
Your parents are your friends with authority perks, not dictators. If they act like dictators, they’re bad parents, who value being obeyed more than the happiness of their child. Dump em in the retirement camp.
Fruit and vegetables are the yummiest. If you feel otherwise, you haven’t explored the genre enough.
Give gifts all the time. It doesn’t have to cost anything, or be thought out, or even really mean something. Just give. Last week I got a note. Just a note on some ripped paper. I’m keeping it forever.
Minor acts of good vandalism are not illegal by moral standards.
Put half an onion on bee stings. This one works.
The customer is wrong pretty much all of the time.
You’re allowed to take pigeons. Nobody will stop you.
I’m wize. I’m answering pleas for wizdom should you have any, but I’m pretty sure I’ve covered it all
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1 Respuesta[quote]Most of you are younger than me. Most of you also don’t leave the house, and will not get to learn essential life lessons from the mistakes your parents protect you from making. I am your parents now. Do bad things.[/quote] [i]Role Model[/i]
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Only [i]real[/i] Outkast fans listen to the full versions
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1 RespuestaExperience lots of bad things. Learn [b]about[/b] the bad things. Learn [b]from[/b] the bad things. Continue experiencing the bad things you like and refrain from experiencing the ones you don’t. Eat healthy food more often than unhealthy food. Exercise as much as you need to, not as much as you want to. Push your comfort zone. Be outside a lot. Talk to strangers. Stop talking to strangers if they’re creepy. Get drunk and pee in a bush. Get drunk and tell your dog your darkest secrets. Get drunk and wake up in a train station you’ve never been to before. Text that girl you like. DO NOT VAPE DO NOT KILL PEOPLE DO NOT BELIEVE THE HYPE
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It doesn't matter what you say... Some will fall.. some will rise... But at this rate.. the world is in a major change..
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2 Respuestas[quote]Most of you are younger than me, etc......Do bad things...[/quote] Nope, unless you came before '95. [i]Mothers tell your children, never do what I have done, and spend your lives in sin and misery, in the House of the Rising Sun[/i] [quote]Some cops have a sense of humor, some do not. The distinction isn’t important, do not talk to cops. [/quote] I'm applying to be a cop. [quote]Horse haired men must be either shredded, musically talented, or in a cult. If you’re skinny and don’t go outside, chances are it doesn’t work for you. [/quote] I have short hair, but am in a cult. [quote]Vodka Crans Taste Like Pain. [/quote] Just drink vodka by itself, it is Russian way. [quote]Smoke cigarettes, but only while you’re young, etc... [/quote] Smoking is bad for you, I am almost 30... [quote]Change your sheets. [/quote] Yes! [quote]Jewelry looks good on everybody. [/quote] I disagree, but if I did get anything it would be a men's claddagh ring... [quote]You have no reason at all to be afraid of rollercoasters, etc... [/quote] Truth, rollercoasters are great, I wonder if Six Flag's still exists? [quote]There will come a time when your lasagne attempt just doesn’t work out. Everything happens for a reason. Accept this failure, but do not accept it a second time. [/quote] I love making pasta. [quote]Your mom [i]has[/i] to call you handsome. Only let compliments from strangers go to your head. [/quote] I care for neither, and listen to neither. [quote]If everybody is staring at you, its not a good thing. Humanity doesn’t unify over much, except for glaring at the kid wearing a tail at the airport. [/quote] Humanity is weak, strut around like you own the place. [quote]Everybody enjoys Outkast. If they say they don’t, they’re lying to be different. [/quote] Honestly I don't think I've heard them, were they important? [spoiler]When you’re drunk, the floor is a wonderful place to sleep, etc... [/spoiler] As long as its not outside and not rainy, don't ask how I know. [quote]Your parents are your friends with authority perks, not dictators. If they act like dictators, they’re bad parents, who value being obeyed more than the happiness of their child. Dump em in the retirement camp. [/quote] You are your own authority, but yes, once senile you can qualm the older generations. I will be happy when I am old knowing that the generations before me are all dead. [quote]Fruit and vegetables are the yummiest. If you feel otherwise, you haven’t explored the genre enough. [/quote] I prefer venison, pork, and fish. [quote]Give gifts all the time. It doesn’t have to cost anything, or be thought out, or even really mean something. Just give. Last week I got a note. Just a note on some ripped paper. I’m keeping it forever. [/quote] I will not start the purge, sorry [quote]Minor acts of good vandalism are not illegal by moral standards. [/quote] Vandals shall be put in their place. [quote]Put half an onion on bee stings. This one works. [/quote] Ok. [quote]The customer is wrong pretty much all of the time. [/quote] Illiterate and incapable of reading the sign, also is weak and can't lift, all of them need loading help from Back Surgery. Back Surgeons must be making millions of dollars on people before they go shopping at retail. [quote]You’re allowed to take pigeons. Nobody will stop you. [/quote] I shall take their short lives. *birdshot intensifies* [quote]I’m wize. I’m answering pleas for wizdom should you have any, but I’m pretty sure I’ve covered it all [/quote] I have none, I don't exist...
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1 RespuestaWhat do you mean by horse haired,mother? I don't quite understand.
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3 RespuestasOutKast rocks Smoke cigars not cigarettes. It’s more deliberate and ergo less habit forming. DO NOT FOR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD VAPE. People are stupid, individuals smart Being crunked on an airplane is not as fun as it sounds Turn in your homework Double check your spelling
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They should really take away your access to the internet/outside world when you're intoxicated.
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4 RespuestasI like you.
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That was beautiful
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You only live once, so go do that thing. Go wear that dress, or ask that person out, or try that joint for the first time. Do whatever makes you happy, and be whoever you want to be. Make a really loud noise for no reason in a room full of people. Just because. Go down a hill in a shopping cart (where safety gear) • Birds are wonderful animals to have as friends, my favorite are Ravens! • Sweet and savory go good with spicy. • Drinking/smoking is ok and fun, if you don't overdo it! • You never stop learning, so learn everything you can. • Tampons are great for nosebleeds. • Try playing an instrument or two. That's all I have for now, I have to go. I love you, and drink water!
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[quote]Give gifts all the time. It doesn’t have to cost anything, or be thought out, or even really mean something. Just give. Last week I got a note. Just a note on some ripped paper. I’m keeping it forever. [/quote] Solid advice, Glope
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I'm listening
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3 RespuestasDo you have any er… wisdom for me?
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2 RespuestasMake friends with crows by feeding them, they will tell other crows and pretty soon you will have enough to take over your town!
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[quote]Most of you are younger than me. Most of you also don’t leave the house, and will not get to learn essential life lessons from the mistakes your parents protect you from making. I am your parents now. Do bad things. Done. Some cops have a sense of humor, some do not. The distinction isn’t important, do not talk to cops. Agreed Horse haired men must be either shredded, musically talented, or in a cult. If you’re skinny and don’t go outside, chances are it doesn’t work for you. I play the skin flute, does that count? Vodka Crans Taste Like Pain. 10-4 Smoke cigarettes, but only while you’re young. Your lungs can’t heal as quick when you’re 30. Some people here are gonna tell me I shouldn’t be encouraging dangerous habits, but I’ve found that nobody really listens to peer pressure from a faceless teenager on the internet, and if you do take it up, it was probably gonna happen with or without my influence. Don’t vape. Never smoked, never vaped. Change your sheets. ☝🏻 Jewelry looks good on everybody. I wear one ring. You have no reason at all to be afraid of rollercoasters. Except for me, I have a pretty good reason. It involves brain injuries and bills insurance doesn’t cover. But anyways, ride rollercoasters. I would maim any one of you to experience that feeling again. If you’re too short to ride, that’s just funny. They are awesome!! There will come a time when your lasagne attempt just doesn’t work out. Everything happens for a reason. Accept this failure, but do not accept it a second time. 98% of the time it works 100% of the time. Your mom [i]has[/i] to call you handsome. Only let compliments from strangers go to your head. She’s never called me handsome If everybody is staring at you, its not a good thing. Humanity doesn’t unify over much, except for glaring at the kid wearing a tail at the airport. If they stare I just give’em the bird. Everybody enjoys Outkast. If they say they don’t, they’re lying to be different. I don’t enjoy OutKast When you’re drunk, the floor is a wonderful place to sleep, but a miserable place to wake up. Make yourself a floor nest of any soft material within reach before you succumb to the spirits. I sleep where I fall. Your parents are your friends with authority perks, not dictators. If they act like dictators, they’re bad parents, who value being obeyed more than the happiness of their child. Dump em in the retirement camp. My parents are good. Fruit and vegetables are the yummiest. If you feel otherwise, you haven’t explored the genre enough. Then I haven’t explored enough. Give gifts all the time. It doesn’t have to cost anything, or be thought out, or even really mean something. Just give. Last week I got a note. Just a note on some ripped paper. I’m keeping it forever. I just gave my kid the gift of unhappiness, does that count? Minor acts of good vandalism are not illegal by moral standards. I’ve done my share of tagging. Put half an onion on bee stings. This one works. Ok The customer is wrong pretty much all of the time. Agreed You’re allowed to take pigeons. Nobody will stop you. Pass I’m wize. I’m answering pleas for wizdom should you have any, but I’m pretty sure I’ve covered it all[/quote]
