So you saw the title, it’s one in the morning and I need to rant otherwise I’ll be up another hour. Before I say anything this is gonna be a little more personal of a post so if you don’t like that then I don’t know what to tell ya. Anyways, rant time.
So do you guys ever feel like at the end of the day you’ve just been going through the same routine every. Single. God. Forsaken. Day? Cuz that’s how I’ve been feeling for the past couple of months, I haven’t really felt like I’ve accomplished anything and am just doing little to nothing (outside of school and work) every day. I wake up, knock out school, do chores, listen to music, game, and sleep. I do literally nothing. And by god it it driving me insane. I already see you typing “BuT jUsT tRy SoMeThInG nEw VeGgIe!”. Here’s the thing. I procrastinate big time, like holy crap it’s pitiful. There are so many projects I want I work on that my mind is just like “Eh, do it later.” SPOILER ALERT! LATER USUALLY MEANS NEVER FOR MY STUPID HEAD! And yes, I’ve tried to stop it many a time. Usually I’m good for a while, then I see the end goal takes longer than expected and just go back to the way I was before. It sucks big time. But I’ve been thinking allot about my future recently and I think I’ve found out why.
You see, I struggle a crap load with self doubt. When it comes to writing, appearance, just about everything. I’m not very skilled at many things and am not exactly very athletic. So, I constantly beat myself up, because procrastination and self doubt are a sucky, sucky combo. Rehab was actually my third attempt (and honestly my laziest one) at writing a full short story. I had attempted one beforehand that I honestly just was super unhappy with, so instead of changing it to satisfy me I just threw it away. The other was going to be a full book, but I had stopped writing not even 2 chapters in because the end goal was so far away. I just can’t find a way to continue something without beating myself up to the point where it’s not even fun or a hobby anymore, but rather something to think on and pass time.
Recently I found out about a little more on blacksmithing and decided to try and take it up as soon as possible (living in a rv till a house is built makes some things tough:(). This is going to be my first step in beating that bad habit into the ground. Hopefully it works out.
So yeah, there’s all my personal junk. Right there, in a steaming pile of blegh. I just needed to rant on about that since I don’t have to many people irl to tell and a few of you have actually become somewhat close friends to me:). Sorry for talking so much lol, rant over. Imma go sleep now before my eyes fall out.
[spoiler]The Veggie has spooketh[/spoiler]