All right little dudes, great to see you out here. My name is HalfAssedMule, and I'm gonna be your shitpost instructor.
We're gonna take it slow, take it easy, make sure everybody has a good time. 'Cause what is shitposting about? Having a good.....?
Time, that's right.
Now just a few safety things to keep in mind. First of all, look straight ahead when you shitpost. You look down, you're gonna fall, you're gonna have a bad time.
Also, be aware of shitposters around you. You run into another shitposter, your posts are gonna cross, gonna have a bad time.
Hey, little dude, you got some crap right there.
Alright, we're gonna do this without a keyboard until we know our two primary dick-beaters positions. To go slow, we wedge our posts together, in the shape of a slice of pizza. Then to go faster, we put 'em parallel, like....French fries. You see that?
Okay, let's have the little dude at the end try first! What's your name?
Okay, Mike, shitpost down to me!
Okay, you see what he did there?!
He french-fried when he should've pizza'd. You French fry when you pizza, you're gonna have a bad time.