Ok, I'm gonna try writing this the best I can without any over exaggeration because every time I write up an entry related to this exact subject I make it sound like my entire iPhone library is just 5 hours of "Simple Plan" music on a loop if you catch my drift. Still it's something I wanted to talk about, negative thinking n shit... Before I start; allow me to just throw all this shit into a spoiler tag to minimize scrolling [spoiler]To start; over the summer I wanted to take up some more art shit. I was never a good artist, sure. But I wanted to try. So before the summer I gathered up all these videos on YouTube and shoved them into playlists. Some were for animation, a couple for drawing, most of them were for Blender3D. Now the start of the summer came and I was ready for it. I had planned out the whole thing. I took an art course, which TBH wasn't a bad thing. It taught me new skills but what it showed me mostly was how much I let negative thinking win. The entire time I was at those courses all I could think of was how terrible the stuff I did was, compared to everyone else. If I wasn't doing that it meant we were breaking for lunch and I was just Drawing rotated cubes onto a paper (which I later learnt via teacher that they were entirely out of perspective. So thanks "DrawABox.com" for that embarrassing encounter. ) During the entire event, I kept feeling like I was talentless and out of place. Like everything I was doing wasn't going to turn out well. Like it was a pointless thing to try. Afterwards, I had the tutorials. So I went ahead and tried to do those instead. Let me tell you how that went. You ever start with a plan to do something, look up how to do that thing, sidetrack, return and become immediately bored and unable to focus on anything at all? That's what I've done for the past week. I'll start something and then lose interest as soon as I follow along with it. Alongside that is usually the thought of "why the hell am I wasting my time here?" Doing that has stopped being fun. And with my thinking of how "not creative" I am, all I seem to find myself doing recently is absolutely nothing at all and getting bored, then distracted when I do end up doing something. Most of what I've done this summer wasn't fun to me. All I've done is dwell on negative thoughts and the fact that I'm apparently terrible at everything I do and I can't stop doing that. It's stopping me from fully enjoying things that in the past I would've been happy to try. I'm kinda worried that I've lost interest in some of my favourite hobbies...[/spoiler] So...what's wrong with me? Why can't I think positively? Why am I losing interest in things that I used to enjoy? [spoiler]if I don't respond it's probably because I fell asleep...it's like midnight where I am.[/spoiler]