[quote]There are 15 Cutscense in the Whole game, and lets review them shall we?
1 - [u]Prologue[/u] = Mars, a shuttle lands, people get out, walk for a bit, one of them almost falls, the climb a mountain and see a big ball, its rains, fades to black, "Found this thing, looks cool, must be alien lets call it the traveler", "we set up shop on other planets", "we live longer now", "Oh no the darkness"
2 - [u]Waking Up[/u] = ghost is flying around for a bit, finds a body near a hutchback, brings em back to life, "hi dude, you were dead, I brought you back, shits gonna get weird, lets go"
3 - [u]Ship Rite[/u] = You look at ship your suppose to fly, looks like shit, tinker bell say he will make it work, weird noises, big guy shows up, dinklebot teleports you into the ship and you fly off into the sunset, hooded girl watches from afar.
4 - [u]A Guardian Rises[/u] = Your ship flys through a lot of clouds and lands at the tower, "Last safe city, only place the guardian can do shit, nice place to hang out"
5 - [u]The Speaker[/u] = you look around the room, speaker shows up and is like "The big ass Cantaloupe out there is the traveler, it went through a lot, now its in a coma, we are waiting for it to wake up", and you are like "details?" and he is like "na dude...that would be telling, lets keep it a surprise for later, but before it went to sleep it made these little guys to give us super powers", and you look at him and are like "cool stuff" and walk away.
6 - [u]Moon Landing[/u] = "Humans haven't been here for hundreds of years...lets go find some guys who have been here...", "wait didn't you just say humans haven't been on the moon in hundreds of years?" "Lets go!!!"
7 - [u]Locked Doors[/u] = we find Isaac Clark, he is dead and his ghost is gone, see the hooded girl for a second, noises, door opens, scary noises.
8 - [u]Going down[/u] = back at Isaac Clarks body, get a call, signal is crap so Dinklebot gets fat, girl calls and says "Your going in there? Sucks to be you...come find me if you survive", dinklebot says she wants a meet up on venus, "Lets go into the hole"
9 - Venus Landing = woot Venus, not as mess up as they thought, we land.
10 - [u]Strangers Call[/u] = A whole lot of broken toasters lying around, Hooded girl shows up and is like "Sup Bitches, I'm a robot", starts talking to herself, makes fun of dinklebot and makes him wet himself, "I'm not a guardian, I want to be friends, can you kill the final boss for me please?", and were like "what? Where is it?", "the black garden", "its real?", "guess we have to talk to the awoken", "oh...yeah, they are a bunch of pussies...", "can you help?", "I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to explain", "lol, what?", she gets a call and leaves, Dinklebot says the awoken are out in the middle of no where and whines about going, we make fun of him.
11 - [u]The Reef[/u] = flying through a junkyard, a bunch of Christmas trees threaten to blow us up if we don't follow then, so we follow them and dignlebot whines, meet this gay guy who starts talking shit to us and says we aren't worth their time but wants to know why we are there, Fallen show up and sphincters get tight, queen shows up and makes fun of for trying to kill her guards, "looking for the black garden", "bitch say what? Why would we tell you where it is?", whispers with the queen, says they will make us a spare key but we have to kill a gate lord, dinklebot whines, Prince says we are doomed, we bounce.
12 - [u]Eye of the Gatelord[/u] = walk up like a boss, queen is surprised we are alive, prince says we pused out, queen asks if a gatelord dies, ghost is like "is this a gatelord head?", "cut out its eye", "why", "cause I said so", "but they are gonna die", "bitch! Do what I say", he cuts out the eye and says its broke, queen says its a gift out of sympathy, prince says its on mars, queen says we owe her, prince is like "yeah, you owe us", we get the message, prince wishes us luck, we bounce.
13 - [u]Mars Landing[/u] - "everything is buried in sand and a bunch of space turtles own everything that isn't", we land on mars
14 - [u]The Black Garden[/u] - "Hey the boss room", walks in, bunch of moldy toasters turn to face us, "so, you think you can kill a god", "don't think I have a choice", big bloby thing hurls on a statue.
15 - [u]Finally[/u] = Speaker talks about humans hiding for a while, not wanting to do that anymore, we do good stuff so lets keep at it, stranger is like good day to celebrate, gives us a gun, says there is more out there to fight that are worse, walks off a cliff, we take off in our ship
yeah....so basically, you wake up in the middle of a hutchback the middle of Russia, find out everyone you knew or loved is dead, you now have super powers, your new best friend is a talking light bulb, you find out Alien Space Pirates hate us for no reason, everyone now worships a giant cantaloupe, fights some bug people, gets a call from a girl, meets some evil robots, meet a robot girl, talks to a d-bag and his sister, kills a big robot to take its eye, talks to the incest couple again, fights space turtles, Fights a big blob's besties, blob explodes for no reason, get a gun, wait for the DLC....
Then Dark Below shows up....one more cutscene, find out this 3 eyed chick abandoned her friends, blames the hive, tells you to fight a hive god and kill him, because the last god we killed wasn't hard enough, then you wait for the next DLC...yay....so much story.... [/quote]
-
Hmmm....shame the final boss wasn't like the boss for Oblivion....