Walt Disney's Up.
[spoiler]I have a serious problem[/spoiler]
English
-
But where?... How?.. Answers, I need them.
-
Well if you want to know the full story I have to tell you it from the beginning. It all started three years and one month ago, the midnight release of Skyrim. I hadn't played much of the elder scrolls saga, but this game... This game I needed. Rewind seven days before the release. I was at a bar with some friends telling them what I knew about Skyrim while they did whatever it is that they do while ignoring me and then we get served our drinks and I start to have a bad feeling in my gut, I always trust my gut, I once saw a twenty dollar bill in the middle of the street and my gut told me not to get it so I hesitated and as soon as I decided to ignore my gut and step into the empty road, a car zooms around the corner going about 80 in a 35 and that day my gut saved my life. So I look at the waitress and say these exact two words: "[b][i]It's poisoned[/i][/b] she kinda giggled with that dull actor "I don't know what you're talking about" face but I knew who she was... Cut back 15 years earlier. It was my eighth birthday and everyone in my school was invited, or so I thought, one girl wasn't on the list and didn't get to come to my birthday where there was cake, a bouncy house, a pool, pizza and lots of other fun stuff. Let's call this girl "Liz" and she was not invited for this one reason, three months before I had asked her if I could borrow her pencil that she [b]clearly [i]wasn't [u]using[/u][/i][/b] and she said "no" not in the rude "this is my pencil and you can't use it because it is mine" way or the "sorry I just don't want to take the risk of loosing or harming my only pencil" way but it was a plain, no emotion, "No" and as an immature eight year old I said this "well then you're not invited to my birthday party" and that's why she wasn't there [i][u]I'm a man of my word[/u][/i]. ...Cut 15 years and three months ahead, Me at the table, my friends starring at me, waitress acting dumb and poisoned beer on my little square napkin. In a moment of panic toss the table into the air and run to the exit, step out into the cold dead air and I feel the oxygen seep out of my body, I feel like I'm falling. I wake up in a hospital feeling lightheaded what feels like moment later but by the looks of the calendar it had been about six weeks. I sit there and I think, I think about the things I've missed, the things I could have done and Skyrim. It took about three hours until a doctor walked in, interrupting my thoughts and immediately turning around and dashing to an unknown area. About a minute later he walks through the door with four people, one in a lab coat, one in everyday clothes and two in suits. The man in the lab coat walks by my bed, check my pulse and asks me this, "How are you feeling" my gut is trying to tell me something but I can't yet tell what, and then it hit me. I reply with "well I gotta take a dump but other than that I feel fine", he looked at what I now assume are colleagues and gives them a very nervous-excited looking nod, at that moment I lean forward and I can't hold it in any longer, I take the biggest dump I've ever taken in my life, right there, in the hospital bed but something feels off, my brown masterpiece starts to float upwards from underneath me, instinct tells me to roll over and I do so, all I can tell you is that about five seconds later there was five smiling people in my hospital room shedding tears of joy and giving each other hugs and a massive brown splotch on the ceiling. [quote][u][i][b]The End[/b][/i][/u][/quote]
-
10/10 IGN
-
[spoiler]tl/dr I don't actually tell you how[/spoiler]