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Edited by Şpøöký ßëåř:
7/30/2015 10:23:34 PM
111
I've got Desticular Cancer... This is how it happened.
The other day I was sitting at home, not feeling too well. I felt a sort of nausea and decided to look into it. I don't know what it was, but I had some [i]Bad Juju[/i] about it.
So today I went to visit my doctor, [i]Doctor Nope[/i]. He's a great physician, and also quite [i]The Comedian[/i]. I'm not so great at [i]Icebreakers[/i] but thankfully I didn't have to talk to anyone in the waiting room.
After some waiting, I received [i]The Calling[/i] from the receptionist that the doctor was ready to see me. I told him how I was feeling and that also my [i]Scrota[/i] felt odd recently. So he gave me a physical, using his [i]Hard Light[/i] inspection [i]Multi-tool[/i] to see closely. Sadly, the [i]Truth[/i] was not good.
The doc told me that I had been ridden with desticular cancer. How could this be? Well he told me one of the symptoms was playing too much Destiny and getting a [i]Red Hand[/i]--I had two. He said the [i]Strange Suspect[/i] as to what might have caused this was a lack Guardian Tears for the week.
How to treat this became a real issue. Left untreated, it could turn into a [i]Swarm[/i] of infections that would ultimately be fatal. [i]The Chance[/i] of surviving would then be low. [i]Patience and Time[/i] would not be enough here, but rather it would take some [i]Prudence[/i] for this matter to be dealt with.
The doctor gave me his [i]Super Good Advice[/i] and suggested a [i]Corrective Measure[/i]. He told me [i] The Cure[/i] would be to use a [i]Purifier[/i] that he could provide me with. I gave him my thanks and went on my way.
Thanks to [i]Doctor Nope[/i] it looks like I will be on my way to recovery rather than succumbing to [i]The Fate of All Fools[/i]. I'm just glad I didn't have to resort to [i]Plan C[/i] and tell him that I got shot with a [i]Thorn[/i]....
[spoiler]My uncle died of Lung Cancer and my Grandma survived Breast Cancer. So to you people complaining about the word "Cancer." Calm. Down. [/spoiler]
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2 RepliesSorry breh, I am truly sorry
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[quote]Let's see what happens when I bump all my threads[/quote]
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2 RepliesThe word play was good but you shouldn't have made it about cancer.
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1 ReplyCame back to read it again.. Still just as good:) And looks like people are still upset about the word, "Cancer" *sigh
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15 RepliesDnt joke about cancer there is no excuse
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1 ReplyFor everyone who is saying OP is a terrible person, dont joke about cancer etc. I personally have had cancer twice , skin cancer and JCML Leukemia and i thought this was pretty clever and kind of hilarious, im not trying to say cancer isnt serious because it is but he was just making a clever joke not trying to offend you
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7 RepliesCancer jokes? You people are tumours on today's society.
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13 RepliesSince when did cancer become a joke to be made fun of?. This is not funny or clever. Clearly you haven't been affected by someone in your life with cancer......grow up.
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1 Replylol people are that butthurt that they can't take a joke.
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1 ReplyOP trying too hard to be funny. Inb4 replies here with more trololols
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7 RepliesBunch of children joking around about cancer. Sort out your pitiful lives and grow up.
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3 RepliesThe word play was clever I'll admit that. But is this a -blam!-ing joke?
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Reposted it to Reddit: http://redd.it/2nuhsy
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1 ReplyThat was pretty punny.
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1 ReplyHahaha. Very nice!
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5 Replies[spoiler]meow[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesThanks for this, this is hilarious.[spoiler]BTW my grandfather died from cancer.[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyWell written sir well written
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1 ReplyCancer jokes FTW
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5 RepliesHa! When I was at the doctor he diagnosed me with having Harpies from unprotected Vex....
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4 RepliesThis has offended me. I will now tell you about all my/my loved one's ailments and why you should feel bad about your Internet post. I will then claim moral superiority over you because my struggle is real and you're making jokes about it.
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5 Replies
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1 ReplyYou got a little herp in your derp, up there.
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6 RepliesEdited by me2ez: 11/29/2014 6:15:01 PMlack of tears because anyone who wants to get challenged by a video game has stopped playing this hallow shell of pixels and moved on to other bigger and better games. how about that [i]Truth[/i]?
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2 RepliesLeave this community.
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3 RepliesLet's hope you or none of your loved ones ever actually get cancer. It's a terrible thing that shouldn't be joked about
