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Edited by wtf mfw o______O: 10/22/2014 4:23:54 PM
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If Bungie ran McDonald's. (episode 1)

Bungie: Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order? o______o: Yeah, I'll have the big mac value meal with some water. Bungie: If that's all, that will be $5.69. Please pull around to the first window. *pulls around, hands Bungie my money. Bungie: Here you go, have a good day. o_____o: Wait, what is this? You gave me an empty bag. Bungie: Whoops, sorry. This is my first time doing this sort of thing. o_____o: Understandable. bungie: Ok, here is your meal. Sorry about that. o_____o: Dude....you gave me two patties, but no buns, pickles, mac sauce, or any of the other toppings. The fries and water are missing as well. What the hell?!? bungie: Oh...sorry, you have to pay extra for the toppings. o_____o: That's -blam!-ing bullshit. I paid $5.69 for the big mac value meal, it says so right back there on the menu. bungie: Did you read the very small writing? o_____o: What small writing?!? bungie: under the menu, it says "price may not always cover all content in the picture.". o_____o: That is DECEPTIVE and misleading! Now I demand that you give me what I paid for. *car beeps behind o_____o* Desticle: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!! o_____o: I CAN'T! NOT UNTIL I GET WHAT I PAID FOR!!! THEY ONLY GAVE ME TWO PATTIES!!!! Desticle: WHO CARES? YOU'RE THE KIND OF WHINER WHO PROBABLY USED TO EAT AT WENDY'S!!! Bungie: Ok...look, I'm sorry. Your feedback has been noted. I'll fix this situation right away. *takes o____o's order back. o______o: Finally. *bungie comes back with a dripping bag and hands it to o_____o o_____o: What the -blam!-?!?! Bungie: We gave you the water for free. o_____o: YOU POURED IT IN MY BAG YOU IDIOT!!!! Desticle: WOW, YOU ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING DON'T YOU? o_____o: HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY KEEP -blam!-ING IT UP!!! Desticle: THEY DIDN'T -blam!- ANYTHING UP, THIS IS THE BEST RESTAURANT EVER!!!! Bungie: I'm sorry sir, we really want your meal to be satisfactory, but let's stay on target. If you would like to leave some feedback, pull up to our feedback box and leave your feedback on a piece of paper. The feedback box is right over there. o_____o: That looks like a trash can. Bungie: It's our feedback box. o_____o: It IS a trash can!!! Bungie: Your concern has been noted, leave it in the feedback box. o____o: HOW ABOUT I LEAVE IT HERE? ALL I WANTED WAS THE BIG MAC VALUE MEAL WHICH I PAID FOR! IT'S VERY EASY TO DO, JUST PUT TWO PATTIES BETWEEN DOUBLE DECKER BUNS, PUT THE TOPPINGS ON THE PATTIES, WRAP IT UP, INCLUDE SOME FRIES, AND PUT THEM BOTH IN THE BAG. THEN HAND ME THE BOTTLED WATER. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, UNSCREWING THE BOTTLE AND POURING IT IN THE BAG?!? Bungie: We wanted it to be a more interactive experience. o_____o: WHAAAAAAAT?!?!? Bungie: I'm sorry sir, we are trying to please you. Here, I'll fix the situation for you. *dumps a whole bag of tablesalt all over o_____o. o____o: *spits and hacks the salt out of his nose and mouth.* WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK?!?!?! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!? Bungie: My intent was to dry up the spilled water and bring out the flavor in the hamburger. o____o: HOW CAN YOU BE SO INCOMPETENT?!? Bungie, sir, please stay on target. Feedback belongs in the feedback box. o____o: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU GUYS?!? I used to love coming here. I remember when your slogan used to be "We love to see you smile!". What ever happened to those days, where you actually cared about your customers? Now it seems like you are on drugs. Why do you treat us like thi... *Bungie shuts the window on o_____o o_____o: -blam!- this. *o_____o drives away angrily, forced to accept his mess. [i]Next time on "If Bungie ran McDonald's"....Bungie nerfs coffee.[/i]
English
#Destiny #satire

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  • ^_____________^

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  • Edited by wtf mfw o______O: 10/28/2014 9:27:12 PM

    Started a new topic: If Bungie ran Mcdonald's episode 2: Coffee (The CoC friendly version.)(197 Replies))

  • On point

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  • Bump

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  • Edited by o_____________o: 3/11/2015 6:36:15 PM
    Bump

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  • HILARIOUS. However I do believe the scamming is activisions doing. DARN YOU ACTIVISION!

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    • i was expecting you to have it go like: o__o : ill have a big m meal Bungie : thatll be $5 pull around please Bungie : here you go 0__0 : this is a single chicken nugget wtf is wrong with you Bungie employee takes his mask off Its the cryptarch "Oh i pity your enemies"

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      • You are gold, man. I'm lovin' it

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        • That was hilarious. "We wanted it to be more of an interactive experience" - LOOOLLLL

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          • Lol funny but they delivered everything on disk that's was ready to be released without a lot of extra work

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            • hahaha, man i was rolling sitting here at work. good job sir good job...

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              • Lmao you are officially my favorite guy on bnet

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                • Edited by Aaron Teriyaki: 11/2/2014 1:01:20 PM
                  "Desticle: Stop being so self entitled and enjoy the shitty food, what do you think this is? How dare you think something is supposed to be good when its on every poster and billboard around, boasting its 90 awards that it received, and has over 500 million dollars behind it, you kids today are outrageous."

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                  • Loser

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                    • You forgot the part where the guy driving behind you gets his water in a bottle because he drives a civic

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                    • This is gold.

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                    • Hey guys, longface here. Apparently this series is "offensive content" and I will not be continuing it. If this upsets you, feel free to express your discontent towards the moderators. They are good people, I'm sure they'll listen. Don't know who they are? Here is a list of names, remember to put underscores where spaces are: Foman123 Recon_Number 54 Dazarobbo True_underdog Bobcast Index Duardo Predator5791 The_slayer Evilcam Old_papa_rich Nedus Remember, you can add multiple contacts to your messages. :)

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                      • Bump. gold. 100% correct.

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                      • Bungie then puts a Easter egg in each cup of nerfed coffee which whispers "Not even a million grams of sugar will satisfy your boss"

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                      • Edited by lazerpants54: 10/23/2014 11:19:52 AM
                        [i]Next time on if bungie ran McDonald's[/i] A car pulls into McDonald's and 3 people are randomly teleported in but they don't know what to order as they've never been inside before and they don't know how to hold the bags of food.

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                        • ChaosMetalDrago: Hello on behalf of the the Health association I would like to recommend adding healthier choices for those on a diet. For example I enjoy the mythoclast burger but it may be too high in fat for those on a diet. Could you please create a healthier variant to be sold for us. Also everyone thinks that the THORNberry Pie and Bad Juju candies need more flavor. Desticle: Oh by god you're such a self entitled whiner. You're just mad because you suck at Digesting. ChaosMetalDrago; .....-.-.....what? DeeJ: Your feedback has been noted. I will be addressing this soon A Few Days Later: DeeJ. I am proud to announce that the Mythoclast burger will be being replaced by 3 teaspoons random vegetables. Fried potatoes and chicken will also be receiving nerfs ChaosMetalDrago: Dear -blam!-ing Christ DeeJ this isn't what we wanted. We just wanted less fatty low calorie options just for the health conscious individuals. Not for you to butcher the entire menu for everyone else! Why would you do this!?!?! And what Happened to the Bad Juju and Thornberry Pie? DeeJ: I could tell you but I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to exlpain

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                        • Honestly I see it more this way... Bungie: I want to make the greatest Big Mac in the world! It'll have everything on it, and all these flavors will seamlessly intertwine to create this amazing food experience! But I'll need funding to make it happen... Activison: That is a fantastic idea! We will fund this, but we want to make a few changes to make the burger more accessible for everyone. Bungie: YAY FUNDING. Activision: first off, we love the idea of this amazing burger. Let's take your original idea and advertise it to consumers now. Bungie: all right, this is happening! Activision: now that people know about this burger we r coming out with, it's time to make those changes we mentioned earlier. Bungie: okay...? Activision: instead of putting everything on it, we r going to strip it down to the patty and nothing else. It will still technically be a burger and we will save a lot of money making it, and still be able to charge regular price. Bungie: wait a mo- Activision: then, to make even more money, we will mail the customer then bun a few months later for an additional fee. Bungie: but what about all the condiments? Activision: depending on how many people order the bun, we may consider shipping some of the condiments in a condensed form later for additional money. Bungie: but we advertised our original idea with all the stuff included. It was gonna be amazing! Won't people be disappointed, even angry? Activision: honestly, we don't believe your original idea would have been profitable or even possible. U have a great track record with innovation, but we don't feel that u could pull this off. Bungie: but what about the hungry customer? Activision: by the time they realize they're not getting the original idea, well already have their money. Also, in hopes of eventually getting their burger close to your original idea, they'll continue to spend money on our add ons. Bungie: ...is this just a grand revenge scheme for all those years we kicked your COD asses with Halo? Activision: yes.

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                          • Guy Pulls up to the speaker but no menu guy: "hello " speaker : "I could tell u whats for lunch"

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                            • Vanguard burgermaster

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                              • Alright - I do not really agree with you, but this was clever and funny. You really needed to have Bungie's manager come over and give you a hard time - not that I am implying a certain corporate partnership is a bad thing... or something. Ultimately, whoever is at fault, there are things wrong. And if we can not laugh about those things, then every late night show ever is doomed, and a whole lot of British comedy also (Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, etc. Monty Python, almost any Brit-sitcom, etc). Satire helps us find humour in the pain. So, again, I do not entirely agree, but thank you for the amusement. I scan further down and see the offensive content thing, and scratch my head. If there are Catholics that can laugh at "The Meaning of Life" and "Life of Brian" - how can we not do the same?

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                              • Guest1: I got disconnected by Zebra error Bungie: Ok we fix it now Guest2: Excuse me I got disconnected by monkey thing Bungie: ok we fix it now Guest2: But the issue still happens when I pick up my warlock charecter ! You such of bullshit Bungie: Then try to push him off of the edge by banana. Guest2: "Has kicked out."

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