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10/3/2014 8:26:08 PM
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*/cutscene (This will attempt to describe the gameplay) Ghost: Guardian, run! We need to get out of here. NOW *more tendrils of the black substance can be seen oozing over the sides of the bridge. A deep thumping pulse resounds throughout the chamber like a large heartbeat. An eerie glow begins to emanate from deep within the black liquid, as if some ethereal presence were commanding it to take shape. Wispy black faces pass in front of this light, as if they were tormented souls screaming their heedless pleas. The black virulence flows towards the guardian. He dashes for the entrance as vicious streams of the black goo falls from the ceiling. The guardian shoots at the substance, but his bullets pass through it, leaving it unharmed. *He runs for the door, dodging and weaving the increasing number of tendrils. He steps into a puddle of the substance and his movement is immediately hampered. He fires desperately at the blackness wrapped around his leg, but his bullets are ineffective. It's like acid burning through his shields. His vision becomes partially obscured by pulsing white light. But he looks down and sees that the puddle that has him is connected to a slightly larger blob with one of the pulsing lights. He fires at the light. The bullets pass strike whatever presence resided in there. A cacophony of screams can be heard shrieking in rage and horror. The puddle around his leg immediately loses its integrity and splashes on the ground, releasing the guardian. *The guardian continues to run for the door while aiming for the lights in the black substance. He dives through the entrance just as a mass of tendrils drops down behind him.The ghost attempts to reseal the door, but is forced to dodge as a large tentacle swings at it and impales the control panel. Ghost: It's......hacking the system.........I don't know how.....but never mind about that. Just run. I hope you remember how to get back to your ship. *As the guardian runs down the corridor he traversed before, doorways....or rather portals....begin to appear along the walls and ceiling. The black substance begins to pour out of them. It shifts more rapidly between a solid and liquid state, contorting itself into new dangerous shapes. Hundreds of arms reach out from the black liquid, as if some entities within it were trying to escape whatever torment the black liquid enforced upon them. If they grab the guardian, they will try to pull him in.It becomes a fierce fight as the guardian is forced to shoot the ambient white lights in the substance as he takes flight. He manages to stay ahead of the bulk of the black substance....but it is slowly gaining on him, the thumping heartbeat growing louder and louder, the ground quaking with its malevolence. Suddenly his path is blocked as voluminous substance pours from the ceiling. Ghost: Our path is blocked, we have to find another way. Go back and turn down the hallway on your right hurry! *The guardian sprints down several hallways while fending off the substance. Eventually he runs through a large open door into a huge hallway. Ghost: Hold on a moment......ok....here. *a solid wall phases into existence where the door used to be. Ghost: That will buy us some time, but not much. *the guardian runs down the hallway. Eyes on the wall open up and fire at him. He takes them out. He makes several turns and comes up on a dead end. Ghost: Hold on.....there is a door control over there. I'll get to work. I think I understand how that phasing technology works. I won't bother you with the details, but I think modify the same technology to build a tunnel to our ship. I would use the transmat...but I'm not getting a signal from in here. But I have most of the map of this vessel memorized. Judging from our location, we should be in the arm adjacent to the one we docked on. I'm very sorry guardian.....but this is going to take time. *the ghost begins to hack into the control panel. Ghost: I'm also tracking it's movement. Guardian......this thing is fighting me...I'm trying to keep that door closed....but I can't hold it off for long. You better prepare yourself.....it's massive.....more massive than I could have imagined. *a loud crash can be heard down the hallway, followed by the thrumming heartbeat. Cahl-rin's voice returns on the radio, he speaks in a flat emotionless tone....static screams can be heard in the background. Cahl-rin: For Countless Aeons, brilliant minds across time and space have pondered the mystery of our universe.....what holds it together...? Every celestial body in the universe.....has gravity. *the hallway shakes violently, black tendrils creep around the corner at the far end of the hallway like veins. Cahl-rin: But......all the celestial bodies could not account for the gravitational pull....that held the universe together.......so many came to the conclusion that there were other bodies we could not see...objects that remained invisible to us.....they called it....dark matter. It had to be everywhere.....but we couldn't see it....or touch it.....but existence could not be possible....without it. *the thumping grows louder, an ambient light can be seen reflecting off the end of the hallway. Cahl-rin: BUT WHAT IF WE COULD SEE IT?!? WHAT IF WE COULD TOUCH IT?!? WHAT IF IT HAD THE POWER TO SHAPE THAT WHICH WE SEE, TRANSFORM IT?!? WHAT IF.....THEY COULD JOIN IT?!? WOULD WE GO MAD AS WE PEERED INTO THE VOID OF THE UNFATHOMABLE DARKNESS? *hundreds of voices begin to overwhelm the radio, alien, human, unknown, all screaming in unison. The dark matter finally oozes around the corner, hundreds of faces fill the hallway from the floor to the ceiling. Behind the translucent veil of tormented visages glow hundreds of white lights...no...images of galaxies, exploding stars, planets, novas, it's like staring into a portal to different galaxies....their lights bending and distorting against the dark matter's surface, folding in on themselves. It's as if the light of the cosmos were shining out of the liquid, as sunlight shines out of water. *The guardian fires at the lights, but can only take a few out at a time...the bane keeps approaching, it's tendrils shoot out...towards the guardian, forcing him to dodge and fight them off. Suddenly, eyes on the wall open up and fire their beams at the advancing wall, burning away at its "flesh". The wall slows its advance, but the lasers surgically cut apart the front of the wall into pieces, those pieces began to attack the guardian. He is forced to fend them off as the ghost did it's work. A large tentacle slams up and destroys one of the eyes, its innards fall out onto the ground. The guardian picks it up and fires it. The hot energy burns away at the dark matter and repels the creature's "spawn". But the wall still advances......110 feet....100 feet.....90 feet. At 50 feet, the ghost successfully entered the program. Ghost: RUN!!!!! *The guardian sprints down the tunnel, the walls scatter his reflection. The dark matter gushes into the tunnel behind him, the station shaking. Ghost: OK, I'M RECEIVING THE TRANSMAT SIGNAL...TRANSPORTING NOW!!! *cutscene* The guardian's ship's thrusters turn on and break free of the tunnel just as the dark matter burst from the opening. Just before the ship jumps into warp, one last burst comes through the radio: Cahl-rin: It is everywhere....it is omnipresent....waiting.....sleeping...........but it awakens......so we are called. End mission.
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  • Amazing man keep it up

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  • Nice! If only Bungie could write like this......

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  • It felt like I was reading about that one mission in Mass Effect 2 where they go inside the collector ship. Lol

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  • Edited by Gahzirra72: 10/16/2014 4:39:37 PM
    All attention placed on this is well deserved indeed. I was hooked last week with the first two parts, with this to finish it was simply amazing. I was actually reading it faster and faster in the final fight sequence and nearly felt exhausted at the end...just the way any well written work should leave the reader feeling.

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  • I assume this black stuff is meant to resemble the mass in the black garden?

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  • Nope.

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  • Oh... Welp :/

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  • There's some concept art out there of species being possessed by the darkness, so maybe you could throw some possessed fallen into the gameplay mix? I think it would cool if the possessed fallen had different tactics than normal fallen.

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  • This is the best mission on any game I have ever read/heard about/played.

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  • Sounds scary. I like it!

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  • Amazing, simply amazing, I like that you left it off with an ever present enemy, now we would have something to look forward to fighting, sort of like the flood from halo

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  • This is absolutely fantastic. And horrifying. But still fantastic. I imagine that if this were an actual story mission, this would be the final mission in the original Destiny once it has finished releasing all the expansions until Destiny 2 is released, or just the normal final story mission for Destiny 2. It would be introduction of the fifth race, the Darkness. (Is that what you are going for here, Longface? Having the Darkness be an antimatteral species that consumes everything in its path? Having the other alien races be parts of the darkness would be explained by their species being consumed and the darkness manipulating the species, with the "true" darkness being 100% antimatter). I think that the sense of terror that it induces would make for a great cliffhanger and wanting to fight this new threat in the next Destiny game, and it is a nice change from the seemingly unthreatening other races. This would scream "here's the real bad guy". My few criticisms is that there is a bit too much dialogue, but I think having the first half of the mission as no-shoot and lore is perfectly acceptable while having the second half be shoot and run creates the satisfaction of it being a "mission". Also, the last few lines with the darkness somewhat contradicts lore, but that can easily be tweaked. What I refer to specifically is the whole "sleeping" thing, because the Traveler sacrificed itself to push back the Darkness. A more feasible idea is that the Darkness had been licking its wounds, per-say, and now it is finally returning bent on annihilating the Traveler (it's counterpart maybe?! As suggested by your post) and the human race along with it. Bungie please use this idea, the storytelling and effect it creates is brilliant.

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  • I wasn't following the lore, yes. I was actually implying that the derelict structure may have been another traveler. ;)

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  • At the same time, it could be made to work if it were tweaked, that's the cool part. And yes, I saw the connection as to how the ship was another Traveller/Anti-Traveller. :) love the idea

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  • Bravissimo

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  • Just the best thing ever

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  • And this is how cool Destiny should have been. I love Destiny, but this was purely amazing! Much better than any of the story missions on the game so far! You should do one on Xur and the nine and their back story, and on why he sells exotics to guardians. That would be cool!

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  • *claps* Efin AWESOME... You may be a troll sometimes, but this is a hell of a short story!

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  • Bravo, LONG FACE! Bravo!

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  • I say if this doesn't get put in the game (It should.) Then this either needs to be made into a comic or a novel.

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  • Can you get hired by bungie please ?

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  • I wish.

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  • For real though, Bungie currently desperately needs good storywriters.

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  • They really do.

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  • I love it. Great job! My feedback: - 4 weeks seems too long. Perhaps within a day of tracking it they sent in a team of 3, maybe after 12/24 hours they contact the player guardian? - Were it an actual mission I'd lengthen it with a side trip to download the ships core (or what's left), perhaps to also allow the guardian to escape and initiate self destruct. ( a true guardian needs to stop this menace, not merely escape) - The anti matter part is a nice touch but perhaps too literal. If you make it a little more vague / mysterious it leaves the player / reader something to think about. "Leave breadcrumbs not answers." Love it. Want more. Wish destiny had this kind of experience.... ='(

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