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OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
8/31/2014 8:51:53 PM
102

What. The. Hell. Man.???

I'm waiting in the lobby of my hotel for the shuttle van to take me to the airport. While here a chubby little boy asked for my iPod. I told him no, and he freaked out, started screaming and yelling "give it to me!!!" His mother ran over, and didn't say say sorry, but gave me a dirty look and actually said, "why didn't you just give it to him? This is your fault." I just got up and went outside. He's still freaking out inside, and his mom is talking to the manager, pointing at me. Screw this, I'm about to walk to the airport.
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  • "What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kiddo."

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