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8/31/2014 11:12:24 PM
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Rob 7T

One of my patients just died (sob story)

For those who don't know, in reality I'm a caregiver for Alzheimer and dementia patients at an assisted living facility. This morning I walked in to check on her and clean her up, I noticed she wasn't responding to me calling her name, also notice shallow breathing. Now she's been on hospice for a week now, so mentally I was kind of expecting this would happen very soon. But truth be told, I wasn't. Months ago she use to tell me how she built airplanes in WWII, how she was a teacher in California and what life was like living on a farm in Kansas when she was younger. Her son spent all day at the facility, with his mom on her death bed. He spent the night with her in her room. I notice these sign and immediately inform my supervisor, she called in the hospice nurse and her family. After 30 mins I walked passed her room to see my co-works including her family surrounding the patient. I didn't go in. I couldn't. I just turned my head and went about my rounds. And then it hit me. Someday I'm going to be in her son's position, looking down at my dying mother's face with my hands over my eyes, trying to wipe away my tears and realize the fact that my mom - the women who loved me unconditionally, who supported me anyway she could throughout my life, is gone. She must have felt so happy surrounded by love ones in her final moments. We all will be in this situation eventually. Many of you probably think nothing of it right? Your mom is only in her 40s - 50s. She has a job, she has you but one day you'll find out that her back and joints are as strong as they were and she has to retire, then you have to take care of her, she then shows signs of Alzheimer or dementia and you living your life with a girlfriend/wife with kids your career simply have the time to care for her, so you find a assisted living facility for her. And then..your in the son's position all of a sudden. And you think back to a better time and what you would've done differently - spent more time with her maybe. Cherish the time you have with your parents. I know what some of you are thinking, you know that nobody lives forever and you think you're ready for that time. You're wrong. You will cry like you've never cried before. We all cried today. I could her my co-works sniffling, watery eyes and you just get this sad vibe around them. The last thing I saw when I clocked out today was my supervisor coming back from escorting the family in tears. That..that really got me. I just needed to get this off my chest. TLDR: Cherish the time you have with your parents.
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  • Edited by SargentCrabGuy: 9/1/2014 8:20:05 PM
    The feels...
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  • That is so sad to hear. I am very close with my dad, I'm currently 22 and I honestly don't want to see him get any older. He is my best friend and he's raised me as a single parent since I was 3 months old, my mother has never been in the picture much. I have thought of it before, and try to just push the thoughts out, because I do know that some day he wont be here for me anymore. He's brought me up well, and I can say is that when that day comes (hopefully a very long time from now) that I know we'll still be close, we've always only had each other. Best of wishes to you, and my condolences to the family of your patient.
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  • Now I'm sad.. :(
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  • The feels...
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  • What I want to say here is Im glad theres people like you taking care of old people. I can only hope to get the same respect when my generation is on the way out.
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  • (;_; )
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  • 0
    Raijin
    Raijin

    I ❤️ coconut rice - old

    :'(
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  • aren't you that guy that was sending meat spin to everyone?
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    1 Reply
    • I am sorry sorry for your lost Rob If you need anything just pm me 24hrs a day 7 days a week I had a grandmother who had Alzheimer. Horrible way to go I would rather be shot at the 1st stages then crash and burn
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    • I'm going to -blam!-ing lose it when my mom dies.
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    • My dad is a surgeon and this reminded me of when he told me of the first patient he lost on the table. Really messes with you.
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    • Edited by Emperor Bell: 9/1/2014 10:13:20 PM
      I was there when my grandpa died and I know how it felt for my Dad, his sister and his Mother. ;_;
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    • Sometimes it's nice being a sociopath ...
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      4 Replies
      • This is to heavy for me *hops on a pogo stick and bounces away*
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      • her body might still be warm [i]hint hint[/i]
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        4 Replies
        • Caregiver by day, dog -blam!-er by night. Gg Rob.
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          3 Replies
          • And that is the most depressing thing I'l be reading this week. Good morning.
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          • I'm sorry my friend it is a shame that people have to die but either way no one can escape death. My condolences go out to you and the woman's family.
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          • Makes me think of when my grandma died. :'(
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          • Edited by Recon Number 54: 8/31/2014 11:35:16 PM
            Having a patient expire, especially when you've developed a personal bond with them, is hard. It's like losing a friend and almost like losing a family member. Death comes to us all though. It sounds like (and perhaps you can take comfort in the fact) that she LIVED one hell of a good life. That is small comfort, but it is comfort nevertheless.
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            25 Replies
            • You just showed hospice in a good light; I can only respect that.
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            • I know how you feel. My little brother, Logan, died when he was only 1. I feel like I didn't know him as well as I wanted too, and it will be a long time before I do. One day everyone here will be with the ones the loved that have passed on to a better place.
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            • Cry me a river would you kindly
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              3 Replies
              • TLDR
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                • *plays sad piano music* :'(
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                • 0
                  Dragonrider4501
                  Dragonrider4501

                  Thorny Guardian Admin! Join Us! - old

                  Why would u post this.. :(
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                  1 Reply
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