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Edited by Duardo:
8/20/2014 3:34:44 PM
209
Tell me a joke.
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[quote]Just tell me a joke [b]Guardians[/b].[/quote] [quote]Hashtag Failure[/quote]
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Destiny.
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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?
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What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of Jews?[spoiler]I don't unload the babies with a leaf blower[/spoiler] [spoiler]I use a pitchfork for them[/spoiler]
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What's the difference between a newborn baby and a sandwich? [spoiler]I don't -blam!- a sandwich before I eat it[/spoiler]
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What's better than winning the special Olympics? [spoiler]Not having down syndrome[/spoiler]
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your skill level at Destiny, n00b. sorry, I couldn't resist. P.S. I'm not sorry
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What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer [spoiler]Ones a disgusting bottom feeder and the others a fish [/spoiler]
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This thread I made
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4 RepliesThese two Indian (like, you know, dot on the forehead, not feathers in their hair) brothers decide to move to America. Upon arriving on Ellis Island, they make a wager with each other to meet again at that same spot 2 years later and see who has become more Amercian. The brothers part ways, and time passes. 2 years later, the brothers meet as agreed, an the older of the two says to his younger brother: "Ohmar, I have become more Americanized! I have a beautiful, blonde, American wife, I drive a fancy sports car, I work for a big American company, I live in a large home, I fly the Amercian flag on my porch, I go to baseball games and eat hotdogs and drink beer, and I have come to love apple pie! I am obviously more Ameri-" "Hey, -blam!- you, Towelhead!" interrupted the younger brother.
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What gives Jews uncontrollable gas? [spoiler]N.azis[/spoiler]
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I didn't know it was nationial meteor day, until it hit me...
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1 ReplyScene in Gintama: Dead dog -> Little girl crying about her dead dog, cuz it was waiting for her this whole time but she had to move away -> Old man says, "Don't worry, he was always waiting for you. And you came. What else did he need? He must have been happy to meet his owner in the end" -> Girl keeps sobbing and says, "That's not true! He must hate me! Because I was the one who caused his death!" -> Old man says, "He isn't dead. He's Still alive" -> Girl asks, "Where? Where is he?" Get ready, this is epic: Man says, "Of course..." -> Girl turns around. Old Man Turns into a big ass alien and...says "RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!"
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A scientist thought up an experiment. He placed this grasshopper on the table. He said, "jump". The grasshopper jumped. The scientist pulled off a leg, then said, "jump" a second time. The grasshopper jumped at little shorter. He pulled off another leg and said, "jump" a third time. The bug jumped a little shorter than before. The scientist continued to do this until the grasshopper had no more legs. The scientists said, "jump" again. The grasshopper did not jump at all. The man said, "jump" again. Nothing happened. He got a little annoyed and said, "jump" loader and forcefully. The grasshopper did not jump just like before. So, the scientists wrote out his theory. It read, "Grasshoppers can't hear when you pull off their legs."
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I once knew a girl who was as pure as snow [spoiler]She also drifted[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesEdited by yo412: 8/20/2014 7:40:17 PMwhats the difference between jews and pizza? [spoiler]pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven[/spoiler]
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I went to the circus and they let me pet a lion! It only costed me an arm and a leg.
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8 RepliesWhy did Sally fall off the swing.
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1 ReplyYour love life
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What is a spaceman's favourite key on the keyboard? [spoiler]The pscae bar[/spoiler] [spoiler]*loads gun, shoots own brains out*[/spoiler]
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1 Replywhy did the boy drop his ice cream [spoiler]he was hit by a bus[/spoiler]
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8 RepliesEdited by HalfAssedMule: 8/23/2014 2:11:28 PMThere was an Irish family that made a living farming dirt. The family had a milk cow that made the best milk and cheese and kept the family breaking even. One day the father goes to the barn and finds the cow dead and hangs himself. Then the mother finds the husband dead, so she throws herself in the river, drowns and washes ashore. Now there are three boys left and the oldest finds everyone dead and a female leprechaun down at the river. She says, "Having a bad day are ya?" The boy replies, "that I am indeed." She states," If you can make love to me 10 times without stopping, I'll bring everyone back, including the milk cow." So the boy tries a go at it, doesn't quite make it and she cuts him down there. The same thing happens to the second son. So the third one comes along, a 17 year old we'll say and he gets the same offer. The leprechaun says "If you make love to me 10 times without stopping, I'll bring everyone back, including the milk cow." He says," OK but what if we go 15 times" she says"well I'll bring everyone back including the milk cow and I'll give ya a mansion where your hovel is." The boy says "alright, alright, but what about 20 times?" She laughed at him and said " i'll bring everyone back including the milk cow, give you a mansion where your hovel is, and I'll give ya a crock of gold, you'll be set fer life." The boy says"OK we'll get started in just a moment here but I have one last question: "What's to prevent you from dying, the milk cow did!"
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You are funny. Teeehee.
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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? [spoiler]"Where's my tractor?"[/spoiler] [spoiler]lawl, anti-jokes[/spoiler]
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Edited by Ari: 8/21/2014 5:43:33 AMWhat does one lawyer say to the other lawyer?[spoiler]"We're both lawyers."[/spoiler]
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What's the difference between jam and jelly? [spoiler]I can't jelly my pen0r up ur ass.[/spoiler]
