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Destiny

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8/18/2014 5:21:57 PM
114

Cooking With Cabals

Hi! Bill the Cabal here, and I'm sure many of you want more info on Destiny, which I don't have. Instead, I'm going to answer the question no one asks, "Bill, what does my guardian eat? Salad? Carrots? Fruit?" -blam!- THAT SHIT YOU WANT A CABAL KABOB! "But how do I make it?" Well reader, here's how, it's time for Cooking With Cabals. First, you will need: One servitor A thin knife A mix tape and headphones A timer Knowledge of Hive and Fallen locations And steak sauce (your pick) So the meat of this dish is Fallen and Hive with Captains having more juicy meat while wizards tend to be spicy. When you hunt your pick of prey down, use the machete to cut off their heads, hands, or legs, don't use guns, they ruin the meat. Also, this is when you should listen to your mix tape because the screams and pleas of mercy will get old quickly. Once you have collected the meat of your choice, stick it onto the thin knife and then sauté it in your steak sauce. Then, find a servitor, rip the front open, and stick the knives in there and wait 25 minutes. Ding. Done. Eat up. Got a question? Ask. Also, feel free to say how you make the Kabobs, guardian style.
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  • Wouldnt it be Shish Cabalbs?
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    • Would you prefer this with Kabalsamic Vinaigrette?
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      • Edited by TwentySidedDeath: 8/19/2014 9:19:37 PM
        4 out of 5 stars! I gave 4 stars because the original recipe was lacking a bit. Because I enjoy my food best when it sparkles like the night sky, I added 1/4 cup of glimmer and a 1/4 cup ground spinmetal per body part (legs, arms, you get the idea). I also Took a suggestion from below and used some Cabalsamic vinaigrette on half of the kabobs. Off the charts! It was so good I found my ghost snaking bites while it was still cooking in the servitor. Also if you're in the Cosmodrome Sepiks Prime is where its at. If you don't have him available any old Servitor will do.
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        • 1. Get one or eight man 2. Hit man hard 3. Hit man more 4. Put man in fire 5. Eat man
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        • Bill.....how......HOW COULD YOU?!? PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS NOT TRUE! I THOUGHT......I.... [spoiler]Why do you do this to my people? After all the stuff we shared? The endless steamy nights under the stars...the ......I want those back...but now......please tell me you are lying.[/spoiler]
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          • @_o
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            • Edited by SkyLizardGirl: 8/21/2014 4:22:12 PM
              What about seasoning? I don't want my kabob to be bland! Here's how to make some seasoning: First, gather some ether seeds. Then, go ahead and scoop up some sand from the sea of old Russia. Now, pick some of that red plant that grows everywhere. Got it? Now, grind up the ether seeds, and let their oil drip all over the kebab- that gives it a nice tang. Next, have a Titan use fist of havoc on the sand, which will turn in into Salt. Lastly, burn the red plant to a crisp. Crinkle up the burn plant and season your kebab with it. This stuff will taste like pepper. There you go, seasoned kabobs. All you need is salt, some burnt red plant, and some ether seeds. Enjoy!
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              • Guys. We're taking cooking advice from a cabal. I think he might be trying to poison us so he doesn't get shot. I imagine trying to eat a hive would be trying to eat that turkey from National lampoon's Christmas vacation.
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              • Or you could just cook them with the Hunter's golden gun or rocket launcher
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              • Edited by ArbiterXX55: 8/19/2014 5:14:57 PM
                I take great offense to this...
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                • Lol lol lol
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                • I know I can trust this recipe because cabal are almost always big and heavy, meaning they would eat lots of tasty food
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                • This is retarded
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                  • Uh...Light boiled hive backside?
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                  • Edited by donaldVW: 8/20/2014 12:28:34 PM
                    I wanna see you have your own show on food channel.
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                  • So... when does the kickstarter for the official Bill the Cabal Recipe Book go live?
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                  • Hive burger with cabal cheese, devil curly fries, with a ghost sparrow shake. And a nova bomb cupcake !!!
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                    • Grilled Hunter Baked Warlock Fried Titan
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                      • Hey, Bill. Just want to say again that everything is the Cabal's fault and Mars belongs to humanity. Thanks for listening, pal! :) P.S. I'm still going to kill you!!
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                        • Ever tried fried Fallen Vandal penis? I had a hotdog with it.. It was to die for
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                          • Im mostl robot, any recipies for Vex?
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                            • 0
                              Muted
                              Muted

                              c6e75d19 - 8/22/2016 4:28:23 PM

                              Cabaliv Garden?
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                            • [i]Cabal have a lot of meat on them, but also have a lot of fat on them. So, remember to slice them into tiny pieces before consuming their flesh.[/i]
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                            • I was following these instructions exactly when a band of Fallen arrived. They were all like, "hey, stop doing that to our friends!" and I was all like, "say, I didn't know you could speak English," and they decided to start shooting me. Unfortunately for me, I left my weapons at the tower so I had to pull out my Sparrow and ride it away. That's when the Sparrow was all like, "nope," and it drove me off a cliff. I suppose the moral of this story is to always bring your guns, guardians. Learn from my mistakes and remember to bring some weapons whenever your cooking aliens.
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                              • Huh. You wouldn't happen to be the same Cabal that opened Cabalive Garden a few blocks away, would you? I hear the fallen alfredo is amazing there.
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                                • Edited by Ralfufigus: 8/21/2014 2:13:33 AM
                                  Are the knives intended to be eaten?
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