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Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.

8/9/2014 11:21:12 PM
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Dabsta

A fireteam walks into a bar...

Tell all your Destiny Jokes here! So a Hunter, Titan, and a Warlock were all getting ready for a big race! The goal was to see who could race around the Last City of Man first! So they all got set, took their mark, and Took off! The Hunter and Warlock quickly left the Titan in their wake, as they blasted around the city on their bikes. As those two finished their lap, they saw the Titan looking rather frustrated and laying on the starting line. As they approached he got up and revealed large spot of blood on his armor. Worried for their friend they rushed to him asking if he was ok. "I'm fine" bellowed the pissed off Titan. "I just don't understand how the hell you two were so fast!" He then turned to the Hunter and demanded "How'd you do that?" The hunter replied, "I summoned my Sparrow, I jumped on my Sparrow, and I raced around the City." The Titan, even more mad than before, pointed at the Warlock and demanded again, "And how'd you do it???" The Warlock said, "I summoned my Sparrow, I jumped on my Sparrow, and I raced around the City." The Warlock continued "Titan, my friend, what did you do?" The Titan, frustrated and brimming with rage shouted "I summoned my SPARROW, I jumped on my SPARROW, and that I crushed the little -blam!-er."
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  • A hunter and a young Warlock are walking deep in a forest, The warlock turns the hunter and says "I'm frightened" to which the hunter replies "How do you think I feel, I've got to walk back alone".
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    • What is a term for an annoying and boring Fallen stoner? [spoiler]A dreg.[/spoiler]
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      • What do you call the retarded mutant child of Halo, Borderlands, and CoD? [spoiler]Destiny[/spoiler]
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        • 3 guardians walk into a bar The warlock says to the bartender: "can I have a blue moon?" The titan says : "I'll take a Sam Adams" The hunter says: "can you nerf the interceptor?"
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          • A titan, a hunter, and a warlock are having a discussion on the forum. The titan gloats, "I can proudly say no interceptors have survived attacking me." The hunter claims, "I have no trouble sniping an interceptor's pilot." The warlock says with aloofness, "I have never had to fight an interceptor." True story.
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          • what do you get when a titan jumps [spoiler]titan fall[/spoiler]
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          • What did the Titan say to the warlock? [spoiler]You're a wizard Harry.[/spoiler]
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            • So a Titan walks into a bar and after about an hour of drinking several forms of futuristic alcohol, becomes completely trashed. Seeing an opportunity to gain some extra cash, the bartender, a Hunter, calls the Titan over. "Hey, Buddy, you feel like making some extra dough? I'll make a bet with ya if you're interested." The Hunter inquired mischievously. "If you win, you get all this glimmer." He carefully picks up a bowl full of rocky blue powder from under the counter and places it in front of the Titan. "Sure pal, that sounds GREAT!" The Titan exclaimed, throwing a fist into the air. "Fantastic. Here's the deal. You need to do three things in order to win this bet. First off, there's that Fallen Captain over there. See him?" He points to a caped alien douche sitting at a table in the corner, drinking a glass of whatever badass drink Fallen are generally into. The Titan nods. "Good. You gotta fight that guy and knock him out." "No Problem!" The Titan shouts. "Cool, now the second thing you gotta do is pull some teeth." The Hunter reaches under the counter and puts a pair of pliers on the counter. "I've got a Hive Thrall caged up in the kitchen out back. You need to go back there and rip out all his teeth with these, then bring them back to me." "Easy squeezy lemon peezy!" The Titan bellowed as he picked up the pliers. "Glad to hear it." The Hunter replied, rolling his eyes behind his heavily tinted visor. "Now the last thing you need to do is not for the weak of heart. While coming into the bar, you may have noticed an old Warlock broad sitting on a bench near the front door. That chick is nuts and is still waiting for her 'beloved' that died fighting the darkness before the end of the Golden Age. Nobody even knows how the old bat is still alive! Anyway, you need to -blam!- her brains out. If you do that along with your two previously mentioned tasks, the glimmer is yours. Just throw in a handful of your own as payment and give it your best shot." (THAT'S TOTALLY HOW GLIMMER WORKS, SHUT UP!!) The Titan let out a large belch of approval before reaching into his secret Titan pocket and throwing a handful of glimmer into the bowl. He then gave a drunken salute to the Hunter and shuffled off to the corner where the Fallen Captain was sitting. The freaky alien creature saw the Titan approaching and quickly inhaled in preparation to let out an intimidating howl. However, before he could do so, the Titan swung his mighty fist, crackling with electricity into the captains skull. The force flung the fallen into the air for a brief moment before he was disintegrated into nothingness. The Hunters jaw hung in surprise as the Titan swirled around and began shuffling to the kitchen as though nothing had happened. Shortly after the kitchen door shut behind the Titan, the Hunter could hear the cage door of the Hive Thrall he'd captured being opened. Moments later, howls from the beast could be heard all through the cantina. Several long minutes passed. Eventually though, the Titan emerged, clearly victorious. "So," The Titan began, standing proudly, "Where's that old lady whose teeth I have to pull?"
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              • I used to be a guardian like you...and then I took a sparrow to the knee
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                • Two guardians walk into a bar... which is surprising, because you'd think the second one would have stopped after watching the first one do it.
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                  • A Guardian is talking to a dreg about the Shores of Time Crucible map. The dreg says," I hate that map." The guardian asks why, so the dreg says,"I keep trying to make the jump to get to B and I keep FALLEN.
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                    • Whats funnier than 24? [spoiler]nothing, cause its not funny ha[/spoiler]
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                      • SPACE MAGIC
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                      • Edited by Horizon: 8/14/2014 2:09:25 PM
                        One thing i have learn is that the titan is the Overmanly man of destiny. Hunter is a coward and the Warlock is Harry Potter.
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                      • Glad this thread is back. Was going through withdrawals.
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                        • There is only 10 types of people in the world people who understand binary and people who don't
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                          • 1 2 3 4 5 [b]6[/b] 7 8 9 10 [i]Proud member of the group causing a sensation [url=http://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/67123219/0/0] THE GRIMGUARD[/url] .[/i]
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                          • What do you get when mixing a 10 year old cod player and destiny. [spoiler]a hunter[/spoiler]
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                            • The Hunter kills the boss while the Titan and Warlock watch.
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                              • A hunter walks into a raid. Get it?
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                                • Why did the titan leave the crucible? [spoiler]He lost control[/spoiler]
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                                  5 Replies
                                  • What's the difference between a bag of shit and a hunter? [spoiler]The bag.[/spoiler]
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                                    8 Replies
                                    • So an Exo is banging his hot Exo girlfriend. The male Exo says, "Baby i'm gonna insert my data into your compiler." The female Exo retorts, "Baby do it, put all of your raw data into me!" A second later a new Exo is born. That is where Exo's come from. [spoiler]Let's rule 34 this bitch[/spoiler]
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                                      • A Warlock a Titan and a Hunter have all been shot. The Warlock quickly shakes it off, the Hunter fled, and the Titan was asking why there were flies on the moon.
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                                        • 2
                                          ElectroHail
                                          ElectroHail

                                          ??? - 8/28/2016 1:06:25 PM

                                          So a Guardian walks into a bar... [spoiler]Thanks Obama[/spoiler]
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                                        • What do you call a male Awoken Guardian with lotsa glimmer? [spoiler]Edward Cullen[/spoiler]
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