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Edited by Otthild: 7/15/2014 4:09:21 AM
72

Flood, it's my turn for advice

Recently I got diagnosed with depression. Things have been, for lack of a better word, hard. Since that got pinned on me, I struggle to find happiness in my daily activities. I no longer find joy in tormenting all of you and my coworkers. As I get closer to my due date, I notice my boyfriend getting more and more distant. He won't answer my messages or hold me like he used to. Usually I'm not all touchy, feely, and all that fgt shit, but for some reason it's really starting to bother me. Anyways, I feel forgotten and cast aside. I told my boyfriend at the start of this relationship that if he was going to pull this shit he can go find someone else. But since I'm a bit attached right now (having his kid, yadayadayada), I can't seem to leave. Don't get my wrong guys, I love the -blam!-er. I just need more... attention, affection, and hell at least some acknowledgement. I've talked to him several times about this, but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears. What would you do in this situation? TL;DR: Otthild's ranting and wants advice on how to deal with a negligent significant other. EDIT: Baby is going out for adoption. EDIT #2: Guys, I have talked to him. I've talked to him a lot. He always brushes me off. EDIT #3: Yes, I will be going to counseling for postpartum. EDIT #4: Thank you for the advice guys. I'll try to apply it the best I can. Also, thank you for the limited amount of troll responses.
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  • Its about whats coming, you need to talk to him, he may be having feelings, that most men wont show, that may need to get out in the open. Even though youre giving up for adoption, the realization that he is bringing a child into this world is most likely bringing up emotions he has never had before, and he doesnt know what to think. he is most likely scared he may be making the wrong decision. Give him a little room to mull it over and figure it out, but tell him he needs to talk to you soon, so you can clear the air and figure out whats the problem, and that you need his support to get through it. While you are the one most affected in every aspect by this event, he is being affected as well, dont forget that it has to be a give and take thing. But then again i dont know the specifics of how long this has been going on.
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    8 Replies
    • I was the same with my wife when she was pregnant with our first daughter a few years ago. I can't explain why I became so distant with her but ultimately she confronted me about it and I got my shit together. If your man won't pull through for you than I think it will be in your best interest to ditch him.
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    • Edited by Raptorkid24: 7/15/2014 3:38:55 PM
      Ehh...I ain't got much to know... You guys wanna try and spend like a little trip together, just as a couple? Maybe talk stuff over in a more calming environment, or just kinda relax in some peaceful wood/beach/desert/ tundra/ nearest moderately isolated wilderness? Or perhaps just find something you guys both really like doing and do it more? I don't really know, but good luck with things :)
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    • Kick him out.
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    • There are kids starving in Africa kids even starving in America. There are the homeless some of the nicest people on earth. These people don't feel depressed they don't fell sad and hate there life so quit being a bitch no one cares about your stupid boyfriend and your relationship problems.
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      33 Replies
      • 2
        Silent
        Silent

        I have the right to remain... - old

        I fight depression by celebrating hatred and rage, but I can't find a good reason to recommend that. I'm back on this site for a few months, so PM me if you want to vent about it. Sometimes it helps to organize your worries into a form you can communicate to others, and you wouldn't be the first person here I've done that for.
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        • Make a sex
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          • Edited by Nojja Benblast: 7/15/2014 8:48:32 AM
            Listen to the new Volumes album. It is so [i]fu[/i]c[i]king[/i] [i]awesome.[/i] Real talk.
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          • Let him pee in your butt.
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            • As someone with depression: I have abandonment issues and cannot help you.
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            • she need some love and affection dis Black Forest cake.
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            • I wish the best for you and your child.
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            • When a guy dates a girl for a while, it's exhausting to devote all the attention and compliments to the girl like when they first met. Guys tend to lay off the compliments and attention because it's pretty much implied at this point that they care about you. If you "bug" him less, then maybe he'll appreciate your more rare attempts to communicate. And I know you've tried talking to him, but have you tried to do so in a manner that is appropriate? ("(Name), recently I've been feeling really depressed and disappointed because we haven't been communicating with each other as much and aren't as intimate. I love you a lot and love every moment I get to be around you and talk to you. I was hoping we could improve...yadda yadda yadda" The video posted could be very relevant though lol
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              • Not judging you for your choice, I'm genuinely curious, why are you offering the baby up for adoption?
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                • I'm terribly sorry this has all sprung upon you. :( I know I'm not as active as my fellow floodians, but I hope it means something when I say that everything will pan out ok. My closest friend was diagnosed with depression, and she didn't get treatment until a week before she took her own life. I hope you don't do the same, and I hope your other half realises that he's got something good going on for him, a chance to make a family. Good luck with your child and your depression. ^-^
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                • How long ago did you decide on adoption? Because if this was a recent decision, maybe, just maybe, he might change his mind once the baby comes and things could change.
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                  5 Replies
                  • Edited by Obscura: 7/15/2014 4:42:43 AM
                    I'm not going to act like I know what to do, and I'm not going to make some sort of joke because I know this is a serious issue going on in your life... All I'm going to do is say a sentence and make a sad face I'm really sorry you have to go through this... just do what'll make [i]you[/i] happy :(
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                  • Edited by ThePopeLicksDick: 7/14/2014 3:33:14 PM
                    Threaten to leave him and then sue him for child support for 18 years. That will set him strait.
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                    • I had this happen to me. No one ever changes back :(
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                    • Suggestion: Self Termination.
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                    • [quote]EDIT: Baby is going out for adoption.[/quote]
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                      1 Reply
                      • YouTube da13thsun
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                      • Edited by DontHateTheBest: 7/14/2014 4:05:52 PM
                        I'm very sorry about what you are going through. You seem like an amazing person that shouldn't have to go through something like this. If you ever need anything or someone to talk to I will always provide an ear to listen and help with as much as i possibly can. I've been through hell and back, I can't say I know what you're going through but I've gone through shit most people could never handle. Stay strong and don't let it over take you. My advice for you right now is that for your boyfriend, some people will never learn how to show attention and affection towards someone. From my own knowledge from past relationships and experiences that it will not get any better. It will most likely get worse with acknowledging you. Most people always keep hoping something will change instead of reading the signs and end up wasting a huge and important portion of their life away. I don't know if the reason he could be distancing himself is due to the baby but he may be trying to send you signs that he doesn't want "this" anymore and is too scared to say anything. I'm not going to give you the treatment of say you need to talk to him because I believe that you've talked to him and I know talking to someone doesn't always work because they brush it off or don't even tend to listen.
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                        • Ahh yes. First world depression. Must be rough.
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                          • I know you're wanting attention because you openly admit to it. But tell me. Your boyfriend also visits this site. Is it your intention for him to stumble upon this thread and see that you have enlightened the entirety of the Flood to his and your personal problems? If so, what is this supposed to accomplish? Enlightenment and advice is one thing, but there's a reason you seek that out privately and not in front of the person you need advice about. I'm just confused as to your motives is all.
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                            • Big surprise the guy who knocked you up is probably gunna skip out on you. I'm not meaning this as a direct personal attack but come on.
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