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5/4/2014 1:55:10 AM
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Critique the hell out of this.

If you recall the thread I made earlier about how it feels to leave home, and I said I wanted to make a small film on this feeling. Well, here is a rough cut of the first part of video. I want to make it the best that I can, so I could really use the feedback. Is the music proper to this? Is it setting the right tone? Are the sub-lineal devices visible or striking enough?

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  • The first part with the piano seems out of place with the other music. I would use one or the other, but not both. I feel there's too much bed in the video. Show the room instead. Use close-up and wide shots. I guess that was the living room? Here's an idea: Shoot yourself and maybe friends in your room/living room. Then transition to where they're no longer there. It will give it more of loss type of feeling IMO.

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