Alright, Flood, this is a question for the ages. Everybody's gotta go number two, and you either do one or the other (unless you get really creative, which by all means, I won't stop you). After you release your bowels, do you stay seated on the toilet and wipe, or do you stand up first?
I don't know why this question popped into my head while I'm trying to get some sleep, maybe I really like feces >.>
-
I'll give all of the, err, Toiletticious reasons of why sitting is better. And I can't believe I'm going to explain it this way... Well, when you're sitting, your buttocks are spread out more so you can get the toilet paper in to scoop up the shit with much less risk of your hands making verboten contact with your ass. Also, the shit will be more spread out so it's easier and cleaner to pick up the shit from your buttocks. When you're standing, your buttocks are more clenched together. So you have to "mine" to get to the shit. This means more risk of you touching your ass. Also, the shit is crammed together so it'd be more gross and overall harder to scoop up the shit without risking verboten contact with your ass. That is all.
-
2 RepliesWho the hell stands?
-
I broke the tie for standing master race. Also, this is not the great poop debate. The great poop debate is dry paper v. wet wipes v. bidet, and is one of the stupidest conversations that I have seen the most times.
-
You don't have a servant who wipes your arse for you? Filthy cur... I squat in the midst of the process.
-
Squat.
-
Stand. What kind of lazy Mongoloid sits? Stand. Wipe. Pants. Sink. Gone.
-
1 ReplyWhy the hell would someone stand?
-
4 RepliesI only recently found out that there are actually people who DON'T stand to wipe.
-
How lazy do you have to be to keep sitting?
-
Edited by qy: 5/2/2014 3:28:54 PMI sort of do a combination where I stand up about halfway, squatting over the toilet. The isometric contraction works my leg muscles and it is optimal position for removing unwanted smearage. That way, my ass cheeks don't feel like they're cross contaminating, but I can actually get a good reach. You plebs don't even know.
-
So... I'm the only one who handstands?
-
1 ReplyI sit, but I lean forward at an angle for maximum ass wiping efficiency
-
why on earth would you stand?
-
wow, I never even knew that standing up to wipe was a thing. TIL.
-
I'm surprised this is 50/50
-
lol, it's 50/50.
-
Standing is the only answer.
-
3 RepliesTo achieve an effective wipe, I must spread my ass cheeks then slowly rub it against the wall. After that I causally leave like nothing happened.
-
I wear a diaper, after I do my business I jump in the shower.
-
4 RepliesI'm sorry, but who the actual -blam!- wipes standing up? What turd wipes standing up?
-
5 RepliesEdited by BloodRaven52455: 5/2/2014 3:45:37 AMWho the -blam!- wipes when sitting down.
-
15 RepliesEdited by A LITTLE COWPIE: 5/2/2014 3:04:51 AMWHY? WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE FLOOD THIS WELL?
-
I use to and then one day I decided to wipe sitting down.. Found it to be better
-
2 RepliesSit. The only reason I can think for standing is that someone's bum is so huge they have to stand in order to get their hand underneath them.
-
3 RepliesWhen you stand up, your buttcheeks come together, and smear your poop all over your buttcheeks the same way you squeeze two crackers between peanut butter. Thus, resulting in wiping a much larger surface area.
-
Edited by OutHouse: 5/2/2014 2:10:40 PMdepends on the shitter. am i on my own porcelain industrial grade throne?(<-- No tuck required there) or am i in some shitty OUTHOUSE with 1 ply -blam!- TP and blue shit on my cheeks? cuz at that point i stand. on my throne? while sitting. Also i guess the better question to ask here... is Front to back? or back to front swipe? In Bungie We Trus7