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#jokes

Edited by Recon Number 54: 4/27/2014 7:09:48 PM
79

What bounces and makes kids cry?

[i]My cheque to their orphanage[/i] Post 'em if you got 'em.
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  • You know Helen Keller accomplished a lot despite being a woman
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    • What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? [spoiler]I take my boots off before I jump on my trampoline[/spoiler] How do you make a baby crawl in circles? [spoiler]Nail his hand to the ground [/spoiler] How do you fit 100 babies in a bathtub? [spoiler]Blender[/spoiler] How do you get the babies out? [spoiler]Tortilla chips[/spoiler] What's worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? [spoiler]A dead baby nailed to 10 trees[/spoiler]
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      • Where does the little girl go after the explosion? [spoiler]everywhere[/spoiler]
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      • How many police does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they were all too busy beating the room for being black.
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        • How many white people does it take to screw in a light bulb? [spoiler]it doesn't matter white people will screw anything[/spoiler]
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          • Two talking muffins are in an oven One muffin says holy shit it's hot in here! And the other muffin says holy shit a talking muffin!
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          • Bouncy balls to the face.
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          • I was expecting you to say lonepaul. I am disappointed.
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            • What do you call a cheap circumcision? [spoiler]a rip off[/spoiler]
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            • Why did the chicken cross the road [spoiler]cause there was a brother chasing him with a bat[/spoiler]
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            • A horse walks into a bar [spoiler]the people seeing the potential danger proceed to leave [/spoiler]
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            • what do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?? [spoiler]my ass [/spoiler]
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              • I broke my current record in bed, guys! New record of an hour and 30 seconds! [spoiler]Thanks, daylight savings time.[/spoiler]
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                • 3
                  BioSmiley
                  BioSmiley

                  "Trust. Trust is quite the funny thing." - 7/24/2016 7:36:16 AM

                  How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [spoiler]None, they just beat the room for being black.[/spoiler]
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                  • Your mom :P
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                  • Energizer bunny was arrested [spoiler]charged with battery[/spoiler]
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                  • I tried to catch some fog but I mist A dyslexic man walks into a bra
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                  • Why did jimmy fall off the swing set? [spoiler]he had no arms and legs[/spoiler] Knock knock Who's there?[spoiler]not jimmy[/spoiler]
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                  • What's the difference between a bowling ball and a baby? [spoiler]I can get a strike with the bowling ball[/spoiler]
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                    BioSmiley
                    BioSmiley

                    "Trust. Trust is quite the funny thing." - 7/24/2016 7:36:16 AM

                    I have one but, I'm 99% sure I'm going to get banned if I say it.
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                  • How do you get a Jewish girl's number? [spoiler]pull up her sleeve[/spoiler] [spoiler]I am so sorry[/spoiler]
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                  • What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? [spoiler]the wheelchair[/spoiler]
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                  • Edited by The Necromancer: 4/26/2014 8:39:47 AM
                    How do you get a clown to stop smiling? [spoiler]throw an axe at his head[/spoiler]
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                  • How many babies does it take to paint a fence? Depends how hard you throw 'em.
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                  • What splashes around in a pool?[spoiler]A drowning baby[/spoiler] What's blue and puffy at the bottom of the pool?[spoiler]The same baby 3 weeks later[/spoiler]
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                    • I'm reporting everything as offensive content.
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