originally posted in:The Black Garden
I loved it! Here's some constructive feedback.
1 more description
2 more careful introduction to the characters so the reader feels familiar with them
3 more explanation on the scene
I have to admit you did the above pretty well but needed a little more. I liked the idea and where the story was heading to though.
English
-
Yeah I'm still learning. Eventually I'll get it right lol Hopefully by the end of the story I'll have enough experience to get it nearly perfect lol