I kinda hate cars at the moment, and I'm about to explain why in a probably-lengthy and thought-unprovoking post. But fret not, there will be a tl;dr at the bottom.
So, there's a flat tire on my parents' van, and I, being the industrious young chap that I am, and the only member of my family with the faintest idea of how to change a tire on this side of the Atlantic, naturally volunteered/was recruited to change the annoying thing.
Easy as cake (or is it pie?), I said to myself. Sure, I'd never actually changed a tire before, but I was familiar with the theory. I can do this, I exclaimed, puffing out my chest in a manly way (I didn't actually puff out my chest). Unfortunately, my ability to change a tire has yet to be proven, as I hit an obstacle before I even got started.
You see, despite my inexperience, I knew I could hardly just take the tire off and leave the van hanging, so I first endeavoured to remove the spare tire from where it was conveniently located under the front of the vehicle. After a quick foray into the driver's manual, I was confident that it would be easy. In the boot, the manual said, there was a nifty compartment containing a jack (handy!) and a "tool pouch". I hopped round to the boot and, lo and behold, there it was; a little compartment thingy. Funny I never noticed that before.
So I grabbed the tool pouch, which contained, to nobody's great surprise, tools. Three tool thingies, to be precise, which could be put together to remove the spare tire. After deciphering the assembly diagram [url=http://i.imgur.com/XCe9qw6.jpg](What does it even [i]mean?[/i])[/url] I was on my way to retrieving the spare tire.
Or, so I thought.
I turned the little turny thing between the front seats just like the manual told me, but when I checked under the car, it seemed like nothing had happened. After some more turning of knobs (not a euphemism!) and poking at tire covers, I concluded that the guy who wrote the manual deserved to be eaten alive by ravenous guinea pigs for his vagueness. It was only fair.
Still, I persisted, and eventually managed to get the tire cover thingy to lower down in a way I was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to. After, I failed to get it to go all the way down or back up again, I figured I'd probably broken it, as I tend to do to the things I try to fix (and I really hope that's not a metaphor for my life).
So I left it, feeling angry and surprisingly bloggy.
And that, my friends, is how I got here. Feel free to regale us with your own tales of auto mechanical misfortune.
[b]tl;dr: I try to change a tire, but am amusingly thwarted by the spare.[/b]
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