We here at the Onion News deplore recourse to legal action but if the parties here consisting of the following individuals; Shiraho Sakurama, RockdaleRooster and RighteousTyrant, will not agree to desist immediately from maliciously and seditiously spreading disinformation to the effect that, and we quote, 'ONION = FAKE NEWS', then our Network will have no foreseeable option other than to pursue legal action.
We are the Onion News Network. Every human being who has died and miraculously returned to life has [i]seen[/i] us, and [i]knows [/i] us, as will all who now live, when the day comes. Until then, we suggest you watch our broadcast.
[quote]The Onion is a satirical weekly publication . . .
The Onion uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.[/quote]Checkmate. :-P
This is highly disturbing. According to a stern survey of our Flux Capacitor, this region of spacetime is extremely unstable. Possible realities are contending with one another, resulting in those who are not shielded by powerful time buffers, such as Onion headquarters possesses, finding themselves inhabiting a time stream divergent from the prime timeline. We regret to inform you that our Ultimate Truth is currently unavailable in your area, we will resume eminence as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience, and thank you for yielding to the beneficial and all-encompassing transmission that is the Onion News Network.
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