Indeed you have cut to the core of all concerns that lie putrifying beneath our leering sun, in the minds of the plague spreading peons that bear them. We here at the Onion choose to believe that the point of this- of anything- is to merely persist and subsist upon the scant shavings of existence that we are privy to and propagate what we percieve in order that it may congeal like dew on the mould and fungus that is the human race as it infests the tree of life.
[i]We report, therefore you are.[/i]
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