What the -blam!- is up with that article. Don't news reporters have anything better to do with their time?
She's not even that hot.
[quote]Just remember it is an Onion news article folks.[/quote]
*Wipes brow with relief that people aren't actually that stupid*
Oh wait... They are.
English
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We here at the Onion News have absolutely nothing better to do than squirm open-mouthed through the odious morass that the shared human interests on this planet consist of, and it makes us proud to be able to work up the callous heft necessary to bring ourselves staggering upright, in order to regurgitate our findings for you, the people, to inspect, blurry-eyed and squawking before your collective reflection.