It's late, I was bored, just having a little fun
Try to enjoy and don't get upset
This is supposed to be funny
I love you all.
Peace
*beep beep bee bee beep beep bee bee*
Breaking News!
This just in, Quitters threaten to quit if they can't continue to quit!
Absurd as it may sound, quitters across the Cosmodrome are threating to quit Crucible if they can no longer quit Crucible!
We now go live to Tower News reporter 'Chuleevn-4
'Chuleevn-4, over to you?
-Good evening Amaddaheer, I am standing here tonight, in the Cosmodrome, just outside the Last City's walls where an interesting phenomenon has occurred.
Quitters have assembled from throughout Sol and beyond to come together to protest Shaxx's new Crucible policy.
For the most part, protest has been peaceful, but the RedJacks are standing by, in the event the situation turns volatile and tempers ignite. The RedJacks are under orders to insure there is no escalation, protocol does dictate protecting the City at all costs.
•Amazing, 'Chuleevn-4, what have you gathered as to the details of the protest?
-Apparently, Amaddaheer, many are upset over the new time out penalty for quitting. They feel the state of Crucible has them over a servitor, with no good options.
Ah here's one now
-Excuse me, Excuse me, sir, yes you right there, Tower News, may we have a word?
Um, yeah.
-What is your name and why are you here tonight?
Um, hello, my name,*waves to camera* Hi Clovis, um my name's Drrygph-3, and I'm an Exo, and I'm here because these new rules are unfair. *turns and chants ✊Shaxx, Relax, Get off our Backs! Shaxx, Relax, get off our Backs!✊ along with the crowd*
-Could you tell our viewers at home, what do you see as the main issue?
Well it's simple, really, if I quit too many matches then Ol' unihorn over there benches me for half an hour.
-Ah huh, I see, go on.
That's totally unfair because then I can't play.
-And this only happens when you quit, right?
Yeah! If I quit then I don't get to play.
-I see, but if you quit, then aren't you done playing? If Shaxx benches when you quit, you've just quit, how would a time out negatively impact you?
No, no, I'm not talking about quitting, I'm talking about quitting.
-Excuse me
I don't want to quit playing, I'm having fun, I just want to quit, but if I quit I can't play for 30mins
-I see
It's like, if I wanna quit, I should be able to keep playing, right?
-So you want to quit playing Crucible?
No I want to [i]play[/i] Crucible
-But you want to quit, correct?
No, you're not listening. I don't want to quit playing Crucible, but if I'm playing Crucible and want to quit, I should be able to quit and continue playing.
-Please explain to the viewers what you mean.
Ok, so say I'm playing Crucible and I don't like the map, so I quit, then they put me in a 5v6 so I quit, then they put me up against 6 friends in the same game and I quit. Because of that Shaxx puts me in time out, stopping me from playing while I'm trying to play! It's like, I'm trying to play here, Shaxx, mind your business, why don't you go recite some poetry or something! It's crazy! If I quit Shaxx says I can't play, and if I wanna play I can't quit!
-I see
Look, I'm not gonna quit quitting, but if I can't quit... I think I'm just gonna to have to quit.
-Quit Crucible, you mean?
Listen! I wanna [i]play[/i] crucible, but I wanna [i]quit[/i] Crucible, but if I quit Crucible while I'm playing Crucible, I can't play Crucible because I quit Crucible, and if I can't quit Crucible when I'm playing Crucible then I'll quit playing Curcible! Understand!
*screen switches to split screen close ups of Amaddaheer and 'Chuleevn-4
-Well there you have it, back to you, Amaddaheer,
Quite a [i]jolting [/i]scene down there 'Chuleevn-4, wouldn't you say?
-Indeed. Amaddaheer?
*screen transitions from split screen, to full shot of Amaddaheer
*'Chuleevn'-4's mic is still hot
*Audio of 'Chuleevn-4 while screen of Amaddaheer looking awkward- I swear to the Traveler this guy is insufferable. I can't do this, I can't stand this guy anymore, I'm reporting on a very important issue, and he's cracking subclass jokes? That's it, I'm done, I Qui..... Oh, my ,Travler, it's CONTAGI......*pffft audio feed dies.
Wow, fascinating stuff from 'Chuleevn-4, live, at the Cosmodrome.
Now on to sports
All of last night's Crucible games were forfeited when quitters quit.
Says one combatant, quote: "I quit a match because I didn't like the map and then they keep putting me in 5v6's on the same crummy map, so I kept quitting, and now I can't play!
it's like, hello? Why are all the games I get put into on that same bad map with 5v6's?
Truly astonishing!
And in other news, at the top of the hour, Blues. Do guardians use them? Do guardians need them? Do guardians need auto dismantle? Our investigating team of reporters aim to find out. You just may be surprised at what they discover.
Also, cryptarchs say this one legendary item could pose hazardous health risks to you and your ghost, do you have one in[i] your[/i] vault? Find out what it is, next.
All this and more, along with weather, after a short word from our sponsors.
*beep, beep, bee, bee, beep, beep*
*fades to black
*guardians dancing and doing silly things as cheerful music plays*
*Female voice over*
They may tell you rhythmic physical expressions won't win a fight, guardian, but it feels good, and feeling good is better than not.....
English
#destiny2
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This is corny as hell