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Edited by Speaker: 2/18/2022 9:34:54 PM
16

I'm going to ruin vanilla for you forever...

Now, some of you may already be aware of this little factoid, fun-fact, fact-o-rino, etc. but up until 1 day ago I had been totally blissful and ignorant. I may have been basic and tragically plain in my enjoyment of my vanilla flavored ice cream, my nila-wafers and Coke's flavored with the aforementioned "Vanilla"; but I was happy, content, sure I enjoy other flavors but for the occasional wholesome indulgence of that mildest and smoothest of treats I always held a soft spot. Cinnamon apple pie? Give me a scoop of vanilla to cut the acidity and spicy bite of the apples and cinnamon, just heavenly. What about some Vanilla filling in that delectable chocolate macaron? Vanilla may be basic, but it is ultimately pair able with many confections. It's gentle, lingering finish to the espresso and steamed milk you enjoy with your morning brief leaves you feeling warmer. What a glorious invention, vanilla. Even if you prefer other flavors, you have probably eaten and enjoyed something flavored with vanilla... Oh, friends; abandon all hope ye who enter here, for the mind is sure to cave under the wicked revenge of which vanilla has reaped up on us for our consumption of its smooth and warm aroma. I had always lived under the assumption that, my delicious coffee creamer or syrup sweetener was derived from a specific bean, one that is cultivated primarily in Madagascar, Mexico, and Tahiti. Considered the fruit of the vanilla plant, it is a long and thin smooth green pod that once ripe will turn brown after being harvested and processed. Over 150 species of the genus Vanilla exist but the most cultivated and commercially valuable among these is [i]Vanilla plainfolia[/i] a relative of the Madagascar Bourbon Vanilla bean. The flowers, referred to as Vanilla orchid are delicate and beautiful, with pink and yellow blossoms, and they were cultivated by the Totonac Indians of Mexico in secret for centuries until the Aztecs conquered them and kept the plants for themselves. It was only when Spanish conquistador, Hernan Cortes, conquered the Aztec people for the Crown of Spain Vanilla became available in Europe and by proxy the rest of the world, used as an aphrodisiac, and even an ingredient in nerve stimulants, as well as its rendered spice. However, vanilla while popular had its drawbacks. The beans must cure for 3 whole months after taking 9 months to raise for harvest. It requires a jungle environment to grow in any profitable quantity, and with mass deforestation- already a perceived crime against nature by some in the rainforests and jungles of the world- its cultivation is even more difficult and more exposed in the global polity-sphere. Thankfully the corporate food producers of the United States and likely elsewhere came up with a brilliant idea to make this intoxicating and delicious flavor available en masse and without the need to grow delicate and expensive to maintain vanilla bean farms. A dramatization. [I]A man finds a friendly beaver and upon coaxing the beaver closer with a snack he gets a smell of something good. He wonders if it's coming from his woodland home where the wife is cooking up some of them expensive vaniller beans for a cake. Leaning down over the wary animal he sniffs... "Is this beaver vanilla scented?" killing the beaver with his knife he sniffs it again... "This Beavers azz smells like a vanilla!" hurriedly he runs home to tell his wife, no more will they need to buy those razzafrazzin 100-dollar beans![/i] Now as we continue, I want to apologize, I have just killed a cute and cuddly character and planted the seed of a horrifying thought in your mind. Buckle up bub- it's real Castoreum is a substance collected from the glands of Beavers in Canada Europe and Siberia. It is occasionally used for anxiety insomnia and cramps, but no scientific data supports this use. Manufacturers use it in perfumes and cosmetics. The glands known as castor sacs are harvested and left to dry where they develop and smooth and pleasant fragrance... of vanilla... The Beaver uses it to mark its territory and identify other beavers. While the smell of most animals' territory-marking is often musky or brutal the Beavers Castor sacs have a lovely aroma of vanilla. The current method of retrieving Castoreum is described by at least one process biologist as an odd and gross procedure. Beavers are sedated and their castor sacks "milked" for the valuable and vanilla scented Castoreum. Today if you see a vanilla product flavored with Castoreum it is most likely a high-end product that wants you to know about it and considering the numerous other strange things we Americans put into our bodies as food, it is a fairly common and unobtrusive substitution. So, there you have it... your vanilla flavored food item is one of two things the end product of using an [b]ancient and storied bean from South America and around the world[/b], or the secretions of a [b]Beavers bu[i]t[/i]th0le-oriented scent glands[/b]. [b]Next time on things I didn't need to know but someone told me anyways... The Food Dye component known as Carmine![/b]

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