Optimism- There exists a time setting on the microwave at which all of the kernels will pop, yet none will burn. We just havent found it yet.
Pessimism- Every kernel could be partially unpopped so I will chew very slowly
Stoicism- If you bite down on an unpopped kernel, you can't show any sign of pain on your face
Aestheticism- Does popcorn require seasoning?
Nihilism- There is no popcorn
Cynicism- If you dont eat it out if the bag, you're a -blam!-
Communism- Popcorn should be shared equally among the group, but secretly no one is happy with amount they got
Capitalism- Take as much as you can by making a basket with your shirt, there aint enough for everyone!
Atheism- The popcorn popped itself
Theism- Popcorn was created by the magic popcorn man in the sky, now every Thursday is movie night in his honor
Confucianism- If you dont provide popcorn for your family you have failed as a person
Metaphysical reductionism- These molecules taste good
Platonism- There exists an ideal popcorn kernel
Antinatalism- We should ask the popcorn for consent before we pop it
Mind-body dualism- There is a metaphysical aspect of the corn that makes it taste a certain way
Transitivity of identity- The kernel stays the same kernel when it is popped
Nationalism- Orvile Redenbacher is the best brand and I will go to war with anyone who disagrees
-Panzer I
Idk what this is, but I got bored while eating popcorn. Feel free to suggest more philosophies, I'd be happy to add them.
English
#Offtopic
-
4 RepliesTry Nationalism: The popcorn in my country is better than the popcorn in a different country.