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Edited by lethalbarracuda: 2/2/2022 10:02:30 PM
9

Philosophies of popcorn

Optimism- There exists a time setting on the microwave at which all of the kernels will pop, yet none will burn. We just havent found it yet. Pessimism- Every kernel could be partially unpopped so I will chew very slowly Stoicism- If you bite down on an unpopped kernel, you can't show any sign of pain on your face Aestheticism- Does popcorn require seasoning? Nihilism- There is no popcorn Cynicism- If you dont eat it out if the bag, you're a -blam!- Communism- Popcorn should be shared equally among the group, but secretly no one is happy with amount they got Capitalism- Take as much as you can by making a basket with your shirt, there aint enough for everyone! Atheism- The popcorn popped itself Theism- Popcorn was created by the magic popcorn man in the sky, now every Thursday is movie night in his honor Confucianism- If you dont provide popcorn for your family you have failed as a person Metaphysical reductionism- These molecules taste good Platonism- There exists an ideal popcorn kernel Antinatalism- We should ask the popcorn for consent before we pop it Mind-body dualism- There is a metaphysical aspect of the corn that makes it taste a certain way Transitivity of identity- The kernel stays the same kernel when it is popped Nationalism- Orvile Redenbacher is the best brand and I will go to war with anyone who disagrees -Panzer I Idk what this is, but I got bored while eating popcorn. Feel free to suggest more philosophies, I'd be happy to add them.
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