When you're revived makes no difference and implying Ghost would have to do it instantly shows a clear lack of knowledge of the lore.
When you're revived, you're brought back at your peak, with the exception of certain things (drifter always revived hungry, for example, because he wouldn't eat) but being totally drained of energy wouldn't continue to cause you problems after being revived. Another indicator of a lack of lore knowledge.
The exotic description is interesting, but odd. I don't really have anything to say about it other than I can't see many people using it.
It also doesn't sound like a very good reward for something that quite literally kills you just to acquire, let alone all the other things this implies you need to do. So I can't see anyone going through the effort to get it either.
I've noticed those that come up with homebrew exotics or fanfictions like this one (yea i know this is an exotic questline you came up with but it still counts) are usually those that lack some, a lot, or all of the key bits of knowledge needed to make these GOOD, and those that have that knowledge don't bother making these.
It's cool that you put a lot of effort into this, but you could have put more effort into researching the lore to make this fit into the world better, and you could have come up with a better exotic to reward all the crap the Guardian had to go through.
Thanks for the feedback! I should have researched more but towards the end I was getting burnt out of ideas. This was actually my first time creating a story in the lore section. (Always wanted to do one.) Whether or not I do anymore depends on if I ever feel inspired again to write. (I'm usually not a fanfiction writer)
Thank you for taking it as criticism. I'm blunt with these things because beating around the bush doesn't teach anyone, but most take it as insulting them.
Hopefully you learn well, and I look forward to seeing if you ever make another one of these.