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OffTopic

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Edited by Sylver: 1/6/2020 2:40:31 PM
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Offtopic Story Time #1

First thing’s first, no, this is not a fictional story post. To explain, one of my favorite things about Offtopic is the actual, real-life stories people have to share. That’s why I’d like to start a (weekly? bi-weekly?) series of Offtopic Storytime in which a question is asked and everyone shares their stories about it, The posts may fall a little flat as not many people reply to most of my posts, but I’ll try nonetheless. So, I decided that, for the first post, I would go with a topic that is broad and interesting: what I’d the coolest thing you’ve ever done? [spoiler]For me, and while this may not seem cool to some of you, it was when I first took the ACT in the seventh grade. I believe I’ve shared this exactly once on Offtopic, as bragging makes me rather uncomfortable, but that’s not to say I’m not proud of it. In fact, my scores were phenomenal, trivializing most high school graduates. I could’ve dropped out of school then and picked my college. They also gave me a plaque (I may or may not attach a picture if I have time) that I have sitting on my desk to this day. I’m not going to go any farther than that, but I will say that my academics, and in personal preference my reading and writing, are my proudest achievements.[/spoiler] Now that I’ve flexed, it’s your turn.

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  • I managed to change existence as we know it by turning bump into Bunp

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  • There was one time I killed a guy with a grenade. Then the grenade blew up Then when the sequel game came out... I did it again.[spoiler]destiny is a fun game.[/spoiler]

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    • The coolest thing I’ve ever done, eh? Hm... Well, back in high school, I was one of only two people (at the time) to have ever gotten this one writing award I have. No idea if anyone else has won it after I graduated. I’m also super proud of my platinum (all achievements) on Hollow Knight, too! Mostly beating the Pantheon of Hallownest!

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    • Edited by FdYAcsoyPKN83gLE: 1/8/2020 1:20:18 AM
      I had a dream where [spoiler]Sherlock Holmes went to kill a hotel room full of three people, he'd enter using a secret door in the hotel he read about in a book ten years ago. He'd throw peanuts at one guy causing him to go into anaphylactic shock, as he deduced from a dartboard with a picture of George Washington carver on it pinned to the wall that the man had a severe peanut allergy. The second man would kill himself just as planned as Sherlock had earlier deduced that him and the first man were homosexual lovers who couldn't live without each other due to the faint scent of banana on each other's breath and a slight dilation of their pupils when they looked at each other. As for the third man, why Sherlock doesn't kill him at all. The third man removes his sunglasses and wig and to reveal he actually WAS Sherlock the entire time. But Sherlock just entered through the secret door and just murdered two people, how can there be two of him? The first Sherlock removes his mask to reveal he's actually Moriarty attempting to frame Sherlock for two murders. Sherlock however anticipated this, the two dead men stand up, they're undercover police officers. It was all a ruse. "But Sherlock!" Moriarty cries "That police officer blew his own head off, look at it, there are skull fragments on the wall, how is he fine now? How did you fake that?" Sherlock just winks at the screen. The end.[/spoiler]

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      • I tackeled the quarter back for a safety. That's all I can think about that would be considered cool.

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      • So, it was evening, at our schools ski club meet. I was just leaving the lodge after having my first monster(so I was high on caffeine basically). I noticed a giant dispenser of salt packets and I grabbed as many as I could. Being the high person I was, I started to throw them at people and saying “Be AsSaltEd!”. I had about 90 of the things, and everyone started laughing and grabbing some out of my hands and yeeting them everywhere. We sung country roads on the bus and screamed and there was salt packets everywhere on the bus when we got back. They kids from my school who had the bus driver said she was still mad about it and that I had their eternal respect for pissing her off. There it is. My best moment. -Dredgen Qēox

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      • ohh stowy time stowy time!

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        • Leave it to my dumb brain to forget all of the experiences I’ve had. I do have 2 to share though. One should sound quite familiar. My first experience writing fan fiction, right in the destiny lore subforum. I’d watched others do it, participated in some role play, so I decided to give it a shot. I was blown away by the support and praise from other writers, and encouraged me to write on and on and on. Eventually I found my way here, discovered that there was an even bigger writing movement here, and the rest is history. I haven’t resolved the plot lines in my stories back in lore though. Perhaps one day I’ll revisit them. Anyway, story number 2 is about cross-country. I started running last year (or perhaps the year [i]before[/i] last year) and it almost immediately became clear that I was not good at it. I walked more than i ran, and my stamina was very unimpressive. Come to find out, I had something called exercise-induced Asthma, meaning once I started engaging in strenuous physically activity (running, mostly) my airways would clog up with swelling and I’d start to wheeze. It wasn’t life threatening, but it had made me feel something was wrong. The most astonishing thing was the fact I’d powered through it even with my condition. Fast forward to this past cross country season, I had received the Most Improved reward and had broken the 20 minute mark for a 5k race. I still look back on it as one of my greatest achievements, if not the greatest achievement of my life.

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          • So this was a good 3-4 years ago I was at my aunts house while they were building a deck that was pretty high up her 4 year old bolts out and I grab him before he could stumble and fall (it was mor epic in person) There are some other things but I don’t think I want to type em out [spoiler]twirls stache [/spoiler]

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          • I saved my mom from her drunk, abusive ex by running to the neighbor's across a cornfield in the dark for help when I was like 9.

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          • When I was around 13 years of age, I went on a camping trip family. I took my aunt’s dog, Spider-Man (that’s what happens when a 4 year old names a dog), down to the nearby lake. I let him off his leash so I can let him run after a stick I’m holding. As soon as the leash comes off Spider-Man starts running away. I panic and bolt after him. Imagine this. A large dog sprints through your campsite, followed by a tall and lanky teenager who sounds like Shaggy yelling “SpIDeR mAn cOme”. The reason I capitalized those letters in the quote, was because my voice was cracking like an egg on a teacher’s house. After chasing the dog through 5 campsites, I return to my camp to ask for help only to find Spider-Man resting next to the fire pit. GG Spider-Man. GG you sly dog...

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          • It might not be my “coolest” achievement but it comes to mind Soccer Coach: “Girraffalope, I’m moving you up to striker. Do me a favor and put one in the back of the net” Me, who has previously only ever been good at goal keeping: *makes a goal in the first 2 minutes of being on be field* This was against a highschool boys team that were beating us into the dirt a second ago. We didn’t win, but we were only 1 point short of a tie in the end.

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          • I successfully performed the worst volleyball serve of all time. -whiffed entirely -dislocated shoulder Beat that.

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            • Bump

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            • Are you talking about an experience or an achievement?

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