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Edited by Alpha: 7/25/2019 4:20:59 AM
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Someone told me to go to hell. Thinking about it, hell might not be all that bad

Yeah I was playing basketball with a dude today and I made him flinch and get out of his rhythm, I started talking a little trash he then told me to go to hell. Would that be such a bad thing? In hell they have: Rock/Heavy metal music Barbecue Free heating Hippies Pokémon Some kinky ass stuff Party people Basically everyone from offtopic And plenty of weed In heaven they have boring old people and dogs. [spoiler]This is not meant to offend any entity. I do not hate you for believing in religion. Ok? Got it?[/spoiler]
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#Offtopic #satire

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  • Hell sounds nice. bonus: i finally get to meat my dad. 🤷🏽‍♂️

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    • Idk why you think it'd have barbecue; all the muslims would riot

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      • Edited by Altmith: 7/29/2019 3:38:06 PM
        Reminds me of Good Omens. “What are you going to do for eternity? All the great composers are down there. You haven’t even gotten to hear their best work. What do you have? I think the Almighty likes The Sound of Music. For eternity. Do you know how long that is? Imagine a bird flying across the universe to a mountain. It sharpens its beak with a single peck. Then it flies back across the universe. In all the time it would take that bird to wear the mountain down, one peck at a time, endless flights between. In all that time... You would still be watching The Sound of Music.” [spoiler]half remembered quote is half remembered[/spoiler]

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      • You forgot video games.

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        • Edited by regiT: 7/26/2019 5:33:34 PM
          Hell is different to all kinds of people. My version of hell is a tad different than others. For me, there are 7 levels, 1 being the best (for hell) and 7 being the worst. To me Hell is often based on what you despised most in life. For example, if you hated eating meat, well then the first level of hell would have you eat meat for the rest of eternity. Eventually you would get used to it, and would move on. The seventh level of hell to me is reserved for the worst of the worst. Like Hitler and Stalin kind of bad. To me it’s the classic fire and brimstone version of hell, but jacked up past eleven. This is the part of hell that if it was a city, it would be a nightclub turned insane asylum with no benefits at all. Which brings me to Purgatory. I think of it like one of those waiting rooms where you wait for a doctor or some shit like that. Just nothing happening, you’re just sitting there and it’s just “Well this is my life now”

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          • Sounds better than heaven. Who wants to praise and worship a celestial dictator from dawn to dusk?

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          • https://www.beliefnet.com/faiths/christianity/what-does-the-bible-say-hell-will-be-like.aspx Hell: Everlasting, unquenchable fire Brimstone Heat and torment Lake of burning sulfur Satan and the demons will be walking around Weeping and gnashing of teeth Regret A body fitted for eternal punishment ......

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              KDA420
              KDA420

              Riding High - old

              [quote]Yeah I was playing basketball with a dude today and I made him flinch and get out of his rhythm, I started talking a little trash he then told me to go to hell. Would that be such a bad thing? In hell they have: Rock/Heavy metal music Barbecue Free heating Hippies Pokémon Some kinky ass stuff Party people Basically everyone from offtopic And plenty of weed In heaven they have boring old people and dogs. [spoiler]This is not meant to offend any entity. I do not hate you for believing in religion. Ok? Got it?[/spoiler][/quote] If it were a real place, it would be better than the alternative.

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            • No

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              • They don’t play rock and metal in hell, they only play baby by Justin Bieber for thousands of years on end

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                • Don't forget premarital fornication.

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                  Epicperon
                  Epicperon

                  Don’t respond to my comments I’m banned - old

                  Wait why is there pokemon in hell? Isn’t it just Giratina?

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                  • Negatives of hell [quote] Hippies Party people And plenty of weed [/quote] Negatives of heaven [quote] old people dogs [/quote] I don't think I could survive in either

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                    • Here's the thing. People say stupid shit like "hell isn't that bad." Hell is beyond comprehension. People typically think in the physical sense. If you're in hell, you're dead. Your soul, not body is being ripped apart and tortured beyond comprehension over and over again for eternity.

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                      • Edited by LahDsai: 7/25/2019 9:21:43 AM
                        That's someone else's hell. It you'd enjoy it, it wouldn't be hell. Your hell might be superglued into a My Little Pony fursuit on a muggy Florida day, mid-summer, while surrounded by bronies who think the combination of palm sweat and acne grease make sufficient lubricant. But I wouldn't dare to presume.

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                        • I don't think some of these folks are ready for this type of satire.

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                          • [quote]In hell they have: Rock/Heavy metal music Barbecue Free heating Hippies Pokémon Some kinky ass stuff Party people Basically everyone from offtopic And plenty of weed[/quote] Wait... we have all those things here. Maybe... [spoiler]... we’re already dead and this is hell?[/spoiler]

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                            • Well, according to the Book of Revelation, there IS barbecue in hell. Problem is, the main course is you.

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                            • [quote]Basically everyone from offtopic[/quote] ... Relevant...

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                            • ... Also relevant... [spoiler]not included in the DLC[/spoiler]

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                              • ... Last relevant... [spoiler]not included in the DLC[/spoiler]

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                              • Nah hell is gonna have tan houses, white picket fences, minivans, and middle-aged men wearing business suits

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                                • Edited by albinomachina: 7/25/2019 7:11:04 PM
                                  If heaven is going to be full of all the people that think they're going to heaven (Christian fundamentalists for example) I want absolutely no part of it. I'd rather burn for all eternity than spend one minute listening to those assholes. Of course, my version of hell would probably be going to Church everyday. Wouldn't that be ironic?

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                                • Pretty sure hell is a sunny place full of bright white clouds, country music, a bunch of old white people and annoying children that never shut up about their politcal opinions, and not a single drop of booze in sight.

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                                  • [b][i]RELIGION SKREEEEEEEEEEEE[/i][/b]

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                                  • Hippies? Hmm though choice, I like me some free heating but I can't stand hippies and I like dogs. And in heaven they have beer and what is a BBQ without beer? Hmm hard choice indeed.

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