To preface this, I am autistic, bipolar, and ADHD. Life already gave me bad enough RNG, and despite all the help I get, I still have some things that just make me unable to handle life sometimes. This is one of them. I have been literally just the starlight shell away from having cursebreaker on my main account for almost 2 months now, and have been grinding the dreaming city since week one. My friend, who has been grinding half as long as me, is literally 2 corrupted eggs in the shattered throne away, and I feel so defeated. I feel cheated. I feel robbed of my effort and my time. I really can't deal with this. I'm crying in frustration, angry, sad, and really just can't deal with it anymore. I am so stressed out because the one pin I want is the cursebreaker pin, and I just want to be able to LITERALLY GET RNG TO EARN THE RIGHT TO GIVE BUNGIE MORE MONEY! It's ridiculous. I have put in so much effort for this shit and still can't get it. Please, bungie, up the drop rate of the ghost, or make it so that it can drop from more than just the ascendant challenge. I do everything, every week, with no luck. Please, bungie. Have mercy on me. I already feel defeated and empty at this point. All my effort is meaningless in front of luck, and that really isn't okay. Putting a collectible behind an RNG wall is literally bringing me to tears. I am going to keep trying, but have no hopes left. I won't get the shell no matter what I do and I know it, and it's tearing me up inside. I just want some hope for getting the one collectible I want. I have already done the ascendant challenge on all 3 characters this week. I might just drink until I fall asleep at this point. My main account is maxesmagic (on xbox one). Edit: I decided not to drink, for now, but still feel like my already bad depression is worse than ever. I hardly put effort into anything, and this just breaks my heart.