But this is not real life. It's a video game. Games are important because they're not important (first lesson in game design BTW which I have a minor in). I do in fact drive a nice car, have a nice house, have a job, a wife, and I play real sports. I make these decisions in real life, not a -blam!-ing video game which I play to try and have fun. I dont need to get self worth from a video game forcing me to make important decisions about how my characters armor looks. For all the energy spent creating barriers blocking people from appearing how they want to in a video game, developers could instead add more meaningful activities to the game... if what you're saying is right, then why is diablo 3 so successful (which focuses on emergent behavior, creating variety of meaningful content that is always relevant, and creating more and more choices the player can make and allowing interesting things to happen rather than impeding certain cosmetic choices with artificial grind and resource costs).
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