[i]AUTHOR'S NOTE: Some of you will notice similarities between this story and BraveCole's "*Blam*-ing Kinderguardians!" Well, I originally intended to use his characters, with me as a guest reader. However, as his class evolved into from snot-nosed brats to angsty teens, I needed a more appropriate audience. BraveCole's concept, setting, and characters are used with his permission.[/i] [u]THE TIME[/u]: Concurrent with *Blam* ing Kinderguardians [u]THE PLACE[/u]: Same school, another classroom [u]DRAMATIS PERSONAE[/u]: Mr. Oddish, Kinderguardian teacher and Defender main. Male human, adult. Gloria, junior Voidwalker warlock. Female Awoken. nine years old, on the small side for her age. Marshall, junior Bladedancer hunter. Male human. eight years old, big for age. Petra, junior Striker Titan. Female human. six years old, small but adorable. A group of adorable pint-sized kinderguardians, considerably younger than BraveCole's, are sitting at their desks. Unlike older kinders, these younglings wear no armor and have no weapons. They are wearing kid-sized jumpsuits instead. They have Ghosts, and light-powered abilities, albeit somewhat limited ones. In the front of the class is a tall, burly Titan with long blond hair streaked with electric blue and piercing blue eyes. Unlike the kids, he is armored with a sidearm strapped to his hip, but wears no helmet. This would be Mr. Oddish, the teacher in the primary class at Kinderguardian school. He is teaching a lesson on tools of the trade, and has a sleek SUROS TSP-10 in his hands. MR. ODDISH: "All right, everyone, pay attention. This is called a pulse rifle. Who here knows what a pulse rifle does?" (a kinderguardian raises her hand) "Yes, Gloria?" Gloria is every inch of what an Awoken warlock should be: purple skin, neatly styled bone-white hair, glowing yellow eyes. She's smart, earnest, and a little geeky. GLORIA: "A pulse rifle fires three-shot bursts." MR. O.: "Yes, very good. How is this different from other Guardian primaries?" GLORIA: "A scout rifle fires off one very powerful shot at a time. An autorifle keeps shooting until you let go of the trigger." MR. O.: "Or...?" GLORIA: "Or until the magazine is empty." MR. O.: "Excellent. What's the fourth main type of primary weapon used by Guardians?" GLORIA: "Uhh... I dunno." Marshall speaks up. He's practically a smaller copy of his older brother RJ, a previous student of Mr. Oddish's, now in Professor BraveCole's intermediate kinderguardian class. MARSHALL: "Hand-cannons, you idiot!" MR. O.: "Marshall, is it OK to call names in class?" MARSHALL: "But she didn't know..." MR. O. (sighs): "Marshall, I just let you out of time-out. Do you want to go back?" MARSHALL: "No." MR. O.: "Then say you're sorry." MARSHALL: "Sorry." (he doesn't mean it) Mr. Oddish sees that Petra, his littlest one and sole Titan, has her hand up. MR. O.: "What is it, Petra?" PETRA: "Can I shoot the pulse rifle? [i]Pleeease?" [/i] MR. O.: "Yes, I'll give you all a turn. Marshall, since you're so smart, you can go first." The kinderguardians are bouncing with excitement as they follow Mr. Oddish to the little range in the back of the room. The teacher shows them how to insert the magazine and cock the gun, then hands the piece to Marshall. Marshall aims and fires. The first bullet goes into the target. #2 goes high, and #3 goes into the backstop above it. He fires the gun empty, a total of seven bursts, and maybe half are in the target when he's done. MR. O.: "OK... needs some work, but not too bad." MARSHALL: "Nerf pulse rifles." MR. O. (severely): "Marshall, I told you never say THAT WORD in my classroom." MARSHALL: "But RJ says..." MR. O.: "I know what RJ says, I probably put him in time-out a thousand times for using that dreadful N-word. Didn't he tell you?" MARSHALL: "Yeah. But what's the problem with saying nerf? It's not like it's a bad word or anything." MR. O.: "You know I'm a Defender, but I used to be a Sunbreaker. And then... well, you know what happened to us. Do you have any idea what that was like?" Marshall's eyes go wide: he heard about what was done to Sunbreakers. MR. O.: "One minute, our hammers were the terror of the system. Next, we might as well have been throwing cream puffs. The Fallen slaughtered us. The Hive overran us. The Cabal crushed us. And our fellow Guardians in the Crucible did all that and more, except when they were too busy laughing at us. Do you have ANY idea how humiliating that was?" MARSHALL: "Uhh... sorry." Mr. Oddish pats the genuinely chastened youngster on the shoulder, then hands the pulse rifle to Gloria. She might be smaller than Marshall, but she knows how to seat a gun and lean into recoil. She puts all seven bursts right into the target, most of them in the bull's-eye. MR. O.: "Looks like someone's been practicing her recoil control! Fantastic shooting, Gloria." (to Petra) "OK, little princess, you're up." Petra takes the gun and spends several minutes trying to stuff in a fresh magazine. Marshall laughs at her and gets sent to time-out. Finally, she manages to insert the clip and fire the rifle. The recoil is so violent, the gun's receiver flies up and hits her in the face, bloodying her nose. Howling, she drops the weapon and runs to Mr. Oddish. Luckily, the Titan in question isn't fazed, he's dealt with all manner of little accidents in his 97 years as a kinderguardian teacher. He sits the girl on a handy countertop and holds a kleenex over her nose until her light-accelerated healing can kick in. MR. O.: "Shhhhh... it's OK, don't cry. Gloria? Will you please pick up the rifle, put it on safe, and stick it on the gun rack over there?" GLORIA: "Yes, teacher. It has eighteen shots left. Shall I unload it for you?" MR. O.: "Yes, if you remember how to do it safely. Don't forget the round in the firing chamber. And Marshall, if you're ready to make good choices, you can get up." Once Petra's nose is better, Gloria has secured the rifle, and Marshall has returned to the group, Mr. Oddish resumes the lesson. MR. ODDISH: "All right, class... why would a Guardian choose to use a pulse rifle instead of, say, an autorifle?" (Gloria's hand shoots up) "Yes, Gloria?" GLORIA: "Pulse rifles have better range?" MR. O.: "In general, yes they do. Any other reasons?" MARSHALL: "Uh... pulse rifles are easier to shoot?" MR. O.: "More controllable, yes. Very good. Anything else?" GLORIA: "They're stronger in the Crucible, right?" MR. O.: "I wouldn't know, I pretty much suck in the Crucible no matter what I use." PETRA (bad case of hero worship): "When I get big, I'm gonna suck in Crucible too." MARSHALL (shoves her): "RJ says that any Guardians who can't do Crucible are just big losers." Wrong thing to say. Petra comes at him with fire in her eyes and punches him in the face. Primary Kinderguardians might not have lethal levels of light, but they can certainly put the hurt on someone when they choose to. Marshall winds up in a smoking heap on the floor, muscles twitching from the violent electrical discharge. MR. O.: "Maybe that'll teach you not to be a bully." (to Petra) "Still, [i]not [/i]OK. You do it again, you're in time-out." PETRA: "Sorry, teacher." MR. O.: "We need to relax a bit. How about a story, you guys?" GLORIA: "Yay!" MARSHALL: "I wanna shoot the pulse rifle again." MR. O.: "You'll get the chance, buster, don't worry. Meantime, come sit down in back." The three little Guardians obediently proceed to the carpeted area in the back of the room. Mr. Oddish sits in the cushioned easy chair in front of it. ODDISH: "OK... our first story is called 'Fifty Little Guardians'." MARSHALL: "Yeah, RJ told me about this one. It's a counting book, right?" ODDISH: "Yup." (starts reading) [i]Fifty Little Guardians Once dead, but now alive Five could not find working guns Now there's forty-five. Forty-five little Guardians On their first battle sortie. Five rode Sparrows off a cliff That leaves only forty. Forty little Guardians Taking on the Hive Five went into Crota's pit Now there's thirty-five. Thirty-five little Guardians With shaders bright and purty Five picked a fight with Atheon Now there's only thirty. Thirty little Guardians On ships in hyperdrive Five engines didn't get maintained, Kaboom! There's twenty-five. Twenty-five little Guardians With glimmer and guns aplenty Five shot themselves with Gjallarhorn So now we're left with twenty. Twenty little Guardians Hanging with the Queen Five challenged Skolas in his cell Now we've got fifteen. Fifteen little Guardians Assault the Splicer's den Five perished in the Archon's Forge Now there's only ten. Ten little Guardians In Oryx' dark domain Five tried to snuff the Taken King Now only five remain Five little Guardians Still trying to have fun Four tried to climb Felwinter Peak Now there's only one. One little Guardian A fearless, mighty hero A million Fallen hit the City Now we're down to zero." [/i] [b][End Part 1][/b] If you haven't read BraveCole's original: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/221173691?sort=0&page=0 Part 2 now up. https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/222367753