I hate how much I value people. I often meet a person or group of friends and have a great time, after a week I think "we seem to be good friends". But then out of the blue, it is as if they don't know who I am. I become nothing, literally butted out of conversations and of groups for seemingly no reason. They act as if they don't want me there, or that they don't actually enjoy being around me. Then I get butthurt over the whole situation and end up hating who I am, as if there is something inherently wrong with me as people have treated me that way my whole life (currently 19 years old and am in college). People have consistently left me, taken advantage of me, and/or lied to my face about the things they feel. I care too much over something as stupid as friends, its been annoying me for years. But then once I start talking to someone new, I get excited and hopeful then disappointed and frustrated after a week or two. when we aren't talking anymore. most recent big example is in the spoiler: [spoiler]This happened with a person I thought I was good friends with in high school (this situation occurred a little over a year ago during my first year of college), we'll call him Khal. We hung out quite a bit and gamed together all the time. Khal had said himself that I was definitely his best friend since everyone else he knew was stupid and/or ignorant. He had one other good friend that we'll call Ant, Ant was one of his so called stupid and ignorant friends. We had all become pretty good friends, and gamed together all the time. Khal had known Ant for a pretty long time so it's no surprise that they'd be good friends, I had Known Khal for 3 years at the time. One day out of nowhere, Khal and Ant end ALL contact with me including text messages, Xbox messages/party invites, everything for no explained reason. It literally just happened for nothing and the silence continued for about 3 months. Finally out of nowhere, Khal joins my Xbox party. He says that he's now joining my party since Ant is now playing on PS4 and he has no one to game with. So I ask him why the **** is he only coming back now that Ant is gone. He gives me the dumbest answer of all time: "Because I don't have anyone to game with, but wait let me explain why I was gone..." I cut him off by calling out where enemy players were in the game. I consistently acted as if he wasn't there by talking to the other people in the party when he'd try to say something since I knew he didn't like being cut off while he was saying something. I was treating him how he was treating me, as if he wasn't there. He eventually left the party and never spoke to me again. To this day, I am still butthurt over how he treated me and it gets me riled up thinking about it.[/spoiler] What things do you like but don't really want to like or care about? [spoiler]yes this is kind of a rant because I have nowhere else to go[/spoiler] [spoiler]inb4someonesays"mychildren"[/spoiler]